


In the Ring

by Jadedemon76



Category: GLOW (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadedemon76/pseuds/Jadedemon76
Summary: Debbie and Ruth struggle to find each other. Generally picks up after season 2.
Relationships: Debbie Eagan & Ruth Wilder, Debbie Eagan/Ruth Wilder
Comments: 22
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m a terrible mother.” Debbie moaned. She tipped back another shot of tequila. 

“No, no, no. Don’t think like that, you’re a star and one day Rodney is going to be so proud of you.”

“Randy, Bash. His name is Randy.” Debbie eyed her drinking partner and co-producer with watery eyes. The second syllable of her son’s name had been caught by a sob. 

“Right, Randy, of course. Little Randy is going to be so proud of his mother. And besides, look at me, I was raised by nanny Shari, hardly any input from Birdie until I was seven, and I am just fine. And I even lo- I care about her tons!” Bash gestured as he spoke, slopping his drink a little. 

Debbie just grimaced at him.

It was day two in Vegas and Debbie had spent those last two days wallowing. Sure she was drunk right now, but she had held out until today to imbibe. She was a professional after all, that was why she was here. 

After the gorgeous ladies of wrestling and their entourage had arrived in sin city there was a frenzy of activity. They had been given their rooms, a general tour of their hotel, and it had been straight to work after that. Debbie had been glad for the distraction; every moment of time-spent working was a justification for her missing the moments of little Randy’s infancy. 

And God bless Bash, because he had been pushing them all at a relentless rate. There was something going on with him, but Debbie wasn’t sure what. She turned to really look at him and took in his red-rimmed eyes, and the manic chatter of his teeth. It seemed like every time he stilled for a moment he was flooded with real grief. It couldn’t just be his impromptu marriage to Rhonda, Debbie thought. Especially when Debbie suspected divorces were a relatively painless when the marriage was loveless.

“Bash-“ Debbie prodded, “is everything ok?”

“What? Yes-of course it is!” Bash said a moment too late to seem genuine.

“Really?” Debbie tried again, “because I have been moaning about my kid for the last,” she checked her watch, “hour? And it seems like you might actually have something going on.”

Bash looked down and fiddled with his coaster. He bit his lip but remained silent. 

“Ookay.” Debbie said, “You don’t have to talk about it, but if you change your mind, I’m here. You know, producer to producer.” She tried to add some levity to her voice.

Bash gave a small chuckle, though it sounded more like a rasp. 

“Thanks, Debbie.” He said quietly. Debbie nodded and shortly there after, she excused herself.

“Can’t stay out all night,” she said as she stood. “Practice in the morning.” She patted Bash on his shoulder. “Thanks for the distraction, or the wallowing, not sure what this is anymore.” She gestured vaguely to the bar around them. “Thanks for inviting me.” She said more quietly. 

Debbie hadn’t been exactly surprised that Bash had asked her for a drink that night; it wasn’t like they hadn’t been drinking together before. But this had been the first time that there was no pretense of business behind it. This had been purely a friendly encounter.

“Y’might want to remind Stalin over there.” Bash murmured, his gaze holding something in the reflection of the bar mirror. 

Debbie turned and her eyes immediately fell on Ruth. She was sitting in a booth with Sam, they were laughing. 

“Oh for fucks-sake.” Debbie muttered. 

Ruth looked past the point of tipsy and Sam was leaning into her. Debbie’s mouth went sour. Fucking tequila on an empty stomach, she thought.

“I should, go get her?” she turned back to Bash, suddenly nervous. Her instincts were telling her to break up Ruth’s little drinks party, but her brain supplied no logical reason as to why she should. 

Fortunately for her Bash’s brain wasn’t in a short circuit. 

“Aren’t you two wrestling each other tomorrow?” he asked, and that was enough of a reason for Debbie’s inebriated brain to latch onto.

“Yes! We are damn it. How am I supposed to—“ but Debbie had cut herself off. She was already striding across the bar, propelled by sheer indignation. 

“Sam.” She said, as she approached their table, “Ruth,” 

Ruth looked up at her, her eyes big and startled. 

“Well, if it isn’t our own Liberty Belle.” Sam said, his eyes bright. Debbie hated to see how much enjoyment he had been having. What was she walking into? Were Sam and Ruth..?

“Isn’t it a little bit late to be out drinking?” Debbie said, ignoring Sam and staring intently at Ruth. Ruth’s cheeks tinged red.

“I-“ she started, but Sam cut her off.

“Jeez, couldn’t the same be said for you? I can practically taste the tequila on your breath.” Sam was still enjoying himself, it was clear. 

He also hadn’t moved away from Ruth. His arm was draped over the booth behind her, his hips turned toward her. The body language was clear. Sam was hitting on Ruth. And Ruth? Was Ruth receptive to this?

“Ruth? How’s Russell?” Debbie asked pointedly, “Will he be joining us here soon?” 

Ruth still hadn’t spoken, but at the mention of Russell’s name she flinched slightly. 

“No, Debbie, no plans as of now…” Said Ruth, finally. 

“Ok, well…” Debbie trailed off. They were both looking at her expectantly. Fuck why had she even come over here? And why was she having such a hard time leaving? She looked back at the bar to where Bash was watching them, a look of amusement on his sad face.

“Well, it was ever so nice to see you.” Sam said, all faux cheer. “Can’t wait to do this again tomorrow.” Sam was dismissing her. Debbie felt unbidden rage and humiliation.

“Ok.” She said again, still slow on the uptake, fucking tequila. “Well then...” she was just about turn and leave when Ruth surprised her. 

“I think I’m going to call it a night.” Ruth said to Sam. She slid out of the booth and gave him an apologetic smile. “It is late and I do have to train in the morning. But, thanks for…” she trailed off, a small smile playing on her lips. Debbie dug fingernails into the palm of her hand. 

Debbie just stood there uselessly as Bash came over and took Ruth’s place in the booth. Sam looked disappointed but adjusted to his new drinking buddy. He put his arm down and nodded to Bash.

“Good night Ruth.” Sam said, his eyes still so bright and hopeful that Debbie wanted to gag. What the hell did he think was going on here? 

Ruth was standing now, close enough to Debbie that she could smell Ruth’s shampoo. The familiar smell made Debbie want to gag again. Even so, she found herself leaning ever so slightly into Ruth. Their arms brushed.

“Night Sam, night Bash.” Ruth said, and turned to leave. 

After a moment she turned to see if Debbie was following her. Debbie had been standing stalk still, her hands still balled into fists. She turned though when Ruth raised a questioning eyebrow at her. 

“Night.” She muttered and followed Ruth out of the hotel bar. 

The two women got on the elevator in silence. Debbie wanted to break the silence, wanted to demand that Ruth stop leading Sam on like that when she was with Russell. God, Russell, what a stupid fucking name.

“Hey, Deb?” Ruth asked as the elevator ticked up to their floor.

“Yeah?” Debbie asked, a little bit more gruffly than she would have liked.

“Everything ok?” Ruth asked. 

Her voice was so sincere that Debbie had to close her eyes. She laughed mirthlessly. 

“No- I mean yes. Everything’s fine, great, I just—“ she trailed off, unable to look at anything but the slow change of the lights. God how long could an elevator be?

“You miss Randy.” Ruth stated. 

Duh, of course, Debbie thought. But all the same, it felt good, for whatever reason, to hear Ruth validating her feelings in some way. Noticing her. Still remembering to care.

The elevator doors finally opened at their floor and at the ding internally Debbie sighed. They move down the corridor. Debbie’s room was first but she found herself not wanting to go in just yet. She turned to Ruth, searching for something to say, something to draw out the exchange. 

“Be careful with Sam.” She lands on, “You know he’s in love with you.” It was an obvious thing to say and Debbie regretted it immediately. She hadn’t meant to fight, but she couldn’t help but feel that these might have been fighting words. 

“I-“ Ruth looked shocked. “Ok.” She said, her eyes low. “I will be. I’m not—I’m with Russell so…” Ruth looked Debbie fully in the eyes and Debbie couldn’t look away. Her gaze was searching, her eyes filled with something unspoken.

“Yeah, you are. With Russell I mean.” Debbie sighed eventually. She had leaned in again, always toward Ruth, and she stepped back to regain their distance.

“Goodnight, Ruth.” She whispered. 

“G’night Debbie.” Ruth said back, her voice just as quiet.

Then Ruth was gone and Debbie was alone with her thoughts once more.

The next morning the women gathered in their new gym. After a group warm up they paired off to start training for their matches. Debbie smiled tightly at Ruth as she strolled over. She had started her workout with Sheila on the other side of the gym. Debbie felt a sick little twinge of nerves as she approached.

“How are you feeling?” Ruth asked tentatively.

“Fine. Let’s get to work.” Debbie said, attempting her most serious and producer-y voice. 

Ruth smiled back, as though she sensed Debbie’s need to put on airs. 

“Let’s do it.” Ruth said; her smile grew bigger by the moment. 

The two of them together were epic. There was no other word for Debbie to put to it. At least they had been before the injury. They had practiced since Ruth had been cleared. They had processed. They had mended, but still Debbie had the light buzz of fear and adrenaline. That morning as they trained Debbie had been hesitant with her touches. Eventually it became clear that they wouldn’t get anywhere like that.

“Debbie,” Ruth said, frustrated with Debbie’s fumbling. “You’re not going to break me. Again…” Debbie grimaced and Ruth carried on “Come on, grab…” Ruth snatched Debbie’s hands and clamped them onto her waist. “Here, remember?” Ruth had a look of total concentration on her face and Debbie was distracted for a moment by it. So earnest, she thought. 

“Grab tight.” She said. “We’ve done this so many times.”

Debbie swallowed and nodded. Then her attention was back to the wrestling because really, no more broken bones. And they had done their due diligence and things didn’t have to be weird anymore. They had wronged and wronged each other and still they were here. Kicking each others asses in the ring. 

By the end of their training both women were damp with sweat. Cherry called the day and all of the ladies made their way into the changing room. 

“Good day.” Ruth smiled at Debbie and Debbie smiled back, genuine satisfaction on her face. 

“You think Sam will be impressed?” Debbie wasn’t sure why she had said it, or why she had injected the bite into it, but there she had. 

Ruth made a sound of surprise and shrugged.

“Probably.” She said quietly.

They changed in silence after that. Well, not real silence because Melrose and Jenny were somehow still full of energy and discussing the night’s plans.

“Man!” Melrose crooned, “I loooove Vegas. The city that never sleeps.” She said fondly.

“Pretty sure that’s New York.” Said Carmen.

“Whatever! It applies here too.” Melrose said, unbothered. “Tonight is our Friday ladies!” 

Stacy and Dawn whooped. 

Debbie smiled, but her mind was elsewhere. She changed steadfastly, deliberately not looking at Ruth, who as always, changed beside her. 

Later that evening Debbie found herself outside of Ruth’s door with several of the other ladies. 

“Come on Ruuuuth! Quit having phone sex with the camera guy! This is our first night on the town!” Melrose banged on Ruth’s door. 

Debbie wanted to melt into nothingness. They had been at her door before and Jenny had complimented her hair and made Debbie laugh enough that she had agreed to go with them. For one drink only. Two tops. 

“We got the mom!” Melrose had delightedly laughed. Debbie had rolled her eyes.

Then Carmen and Melrose banged on Ruth’s door until she appeared, her face glowing. Debbie gulped. Ruth had dressed for the occasion. She wore a dress, an actual dress with actual cleavage. Debbie had to look away.

“Alright, so where are we going?” Ruth cheered, and the night was off to a raucous start.

They went to Cesar’s, they gambled and drank and danced. Debbie discovered that her cheeks actually hurt from laughing. 

Tammè was barreling through a round of impersonations that had Debbie in stiches. Sheila, Carmen and Rhonda were still hot on the dance floor, and Melrose had disappeared with some guy, but the rest of them were crammed together in a circle booth.

Debbie sat directly across from Ruth and the two of them kept finding each other’s eyes. It felt good, to be having fun with Ruth. Even if they were in a group setting, it felt right. Debbie had missed this. She had missed Ruth not looking at her with apprehension. She had missed Ruth’s open face, her laugh, her…

Debbie brought herself back into the conversation. Jenny was now regaling the team with stories from her passionate affair with….whatever his name had been. Then Debbie felt a bump against her foot. She looked up to find Ruth staring at her. Ruth smiled and bumped her foot against Debbie’s again.

Debbie flushed and removed her foot. She looked down at the table and then back at Ruth. Ruth still held her gaze, but her face had changed. It had closed just a bit, was that disappointment? She didn’t want to see that, so experimentally Debbie nudged her foot against Ruth’s. 

Ruth acknowledged the foot-tap with a little smile, and then she bit her lip. Debbie’s gaze lingered on Ruth’s bitten lip for an extra second. How much had she had to drink tonight? Quickly she did some calculating and came up with a much smaller number of drinks than she would have thought. 

She felt flushed and warm and giddy. Normally that feeling came after drink number four, but Debbie had switched to water after drink number three. It was undeniable though that Debbie felt drunk. 

Later when they had lost some of their team to mystery hookups and others to exhaustion, Ruth and Debbie walked slowly down the strip. They drew closer to their hotel and as they did their steps seemed to grow even slower. They had fallen into easy conversation. Their lives open to each other once more. The bruises of the past seemed to finally be faded enough that they could share some of those closed off parts of themselves again. 

“I just get so fucking lonely sometimes.” Debbie said and looked at Ruth. At one point they had stopped so that Debbie could buy a pack of cigarettes, and now she held one. It perpetually burned in her hand. 

Ruth looked down. Debbie scoffed.

“I’m not trying to blame you here Ruth. This isn’t a “you fucked my husband and now I’m alone moment. It’s more of a…hey I missed you…moment.” Debbie looked down then. She pulled on her cigarette. She was mortified. What was she talking about?

Ruth smiled, but stayed silent and Debbie wanted to kick herself. Then she was glad that they had reached their hotel because here was something she could share with Ruth that would make sense.

“Isn’t it amazing?” she asked, staring up. 

Their title was up in the lights of the hotel. A Bash Howard Production. Still, it gave Debbie a thrill. 

“Sure is.” Said Ruth. 

Debbie wasn’t certain, but Ruth might have been looking at her when she had spoken. 

The weeks flew by. Debbie didn’t have time to miss Randy and when she did have the time, it was when she was out the door and into the waiting cab. From there it was a quick forty-minute plane, and then another hour in L.A. traffic. 

This was Debbie’s third trip home and this time Ruth was flying with her. They sat midflight over the desert. 

“I need to break up with Russell and I can’t do it over the phone.” Ruth was firm and Debbie was secretly pleased. There was something about that guy’s dopey face that made Debbie want to react with (just a little) violence. 

Debbie was pleased that Ruth would be ending it with the cameraman, but she suspected it had to do with the undeniable evolution of Ruth and Sam’s relationship. They spent more time together than ever. In fact, the only time that Debbie seemed to see Ruth anymore was during training and shows. 

“You’ll be great.” Debbie said. “Do you want to get a drink on the way?” she suggested.

“No. Maybe.” Ruth said. She was fidgeting with her hands. Debbie resisted the impulse to quiet them with her own. 

“Come on, a little Dutch courage.” Debbie wheedled. “We took the late flight, Randy is going to be asleep by the time we land anyway.“ She twisted her lips into a dramatic frown. Ruth laughed. 

“Ookay.” She said, her voice bright. “Fine. But you have to help me…run break up lines with me or something.”

“Deal.” Debbie smiled and leaned back in her seat. 

They hadn’t been out in L.A. together since before GLOW and that made everything feel novel and exciting. They revisited memories over drinks in an old favorite of theirs. The shabby bar had seen an upgrade, but to Debbie it would always be that dump with the great tacos and cheap margaritas where she and Ruth first ran lines together outside of class. 

She had been giddy when Ruth had suggested it, even if it meant it took them across town. 

“Where does Russell live?” Debbie asked “Are you going to be able to get a cab this late?” 

They hadn’t ended up talking much about Russell or how Ruth would end it with him. 

“Probably not.” Ruth laughed. They were taking last call. When had that happened? Debbie blinked. “I’ll go and do it in the morning. “ Ruth sighed then she looked at Debbie. “Where are you staying?” she asked. Something about the way she asked made Debbie’s heart pound for a moment. She cleared her throat.

“In a hotel, near Randy. I always stay in the same one.” She laughed falsely “My life in hotels.”

Ruth nodded and looked down. 

“Are you?” Debbie asked, “Do you need?” she wasn’t sure what she was offering. Her room? 

Ruth seemed to understand and shook her head.

“No, no. I still have my apartment. You know, just in case.” Ruth said.

“Oh.” Said Debbie. She hadn’t thought of that. “Where’s your faith in the show?” she asked in mock outrage. She tried to add some levity to her voice. Somewhere in the last few minutes the tone of the conversation had grown heavy and Debbie wanted back their easy flow. 

Ruth shook her head.

“I believe in the show, of course I do. I love GLOW. I love the creativity. I love working with the girls. With Sam.” Ruth said and Debbie scowled. 

“What?” Ruth laughed. “You always do that.”

“Do what?” asked Debbie “What do you mean?” 

“Make a face about Sam. I thought you two had an understanding.” Ruth looked so earnest. Debbie cursed.

“Fuck, we did. We do.” She threw back the last of the watery drink. “He just gets on my nerves sometimes.” It was a weak attempt, because Debbie wasn’t entirely sure what her recent aversion to Sam had become. Maybe it was because he had never shown up for fondue. 

“Well I’m not breaking up with Russell for Sam.” Ruth said. Debbie nearly choked.

“No?” She asked, “But you do know that he is in love with you, right?” Debbie couldn’t help but clarify. 

“Debbie.” Ruth had to audacity to blush. Debbie wished they hadn’t already paid their bill. 

“What?” Debbie said. She studiously looked at her empty glass.

“He might be in love with me.” Ruth gushed and Debbie scoffed. “But I am not in love with him!” Ruth said over her. “I’m not in love with Russell either.” She sighed and played with her straw.

“You spend a lot of time with him.” Debbie felt obliged to point out.

“Yeah.” Said Ruth, “He lets me direct. He’s really kind and we have a lot in common. I can’t deny that there was a…chemistry” at that Debbie made a face, “but he isn’t for me.”

Debbie nodded. She felt something loosen in her, a tension that she hadn’t even known she was carrying. 

“Okay.” Debbie said “Well, whatever you do choose” she punctuated herself by laying a hand over Ruth’s and gently squeezing. “I will be there to throw your ass around the ring.”

Ruth laughed and Debbie smiled, she didn’t remove her hand for another moment. 

“How did it go?” asked Debbie. It was the end of their weekend and they had just met in the airport. Ruth’s face looked white.

“Not…the best forty-eight hours of my life.” She grimaced. Her smile reached her eyes though when Debbie pulled her into a half hug. 

“How’s Randy?” Ruth asked; her voice muffled for a moment in Debbie’s shoulder.

“He’s good. He’s so cute. He’s walking now. We went to the park, he loves chasing the birds.” Debbie was proud when only a little weepy emotion made it into her voice. 

“But anyway,” Debbie cleared her throat, “Come on. I want to hear all of the details.” Debbie steered Ruth to the terminal bar. “We came in this way, let’s go out this way.”

Ruth leaned in to Debbie as they walked and laughed. Debbie smiled.

“Yes!” 

The cheers were hot that night. The crowd was raucous. It was the final match of the evening, Liberty Belle vs. Zoya. 

“Capitalist scum!” Ruth yelled. She hurled herself at Debbie. Debbie caught Ruth and fell back onto the mat. Sam, their new and less enthusiastic referee, counted two and then Debbie launched herself up. She twirled and pinned Ruth’s neck with her boot and pouted for the audience. 

They were in the zone. The two of them read each other and their routine with a perfect mixture of grace, strength, and zaniness. After the clothesline Ruth fell back with an exaggerated cry.

“Liberty Belle is our winner!” Sam announced after the count.

The crowd cheered. Ruth booed, but there was a sparkle in her eye in for Debbie.

“I mean really, you were awesome.” Carmen said. She had already congratulated Debbie several times that night. 

“I think it’s time to take a water break.” Debbie said and steered Carmen to the table that their team had claimed.

Ruth was sitting there, deep in conversation with Rhonda. Debbie hadn’t seen much of Rhonda lately. She spent much more time with Bash, and from what she had gleaned their relationship wasn’t doing so great. Debbie hoped that Ruth was getting a new look into the green card marriage; she made a mental note to ask Ruth to tell her about it later.

For the last few weeks everything had been blessedly easy for Debbie. She was able to see Randy regularly in an arrangement that truly seemed to work for everyone. Though the show was running on autopilot she still had the opportunity to shine in her role. She was exploring new projects to produce, and she had a group of coworkers that felt like family. 

Debbie was comfortable in a way that she never thought she could be after the implosion of her marriage. More than that though, Debbie was starting to feel like this might be the gateway to her happiest future. With a bolt of unbidden joy Debbie signaled a round for the table. Debbie threw back two shots while Artie and Yolanda cheered. It was going to be a good night.

They were at a gay bar. There was a man, dressed as a woman doing a strip tease. Debbie had not seen this one coming. Sure, she was a liberal. She knew about the gay community. She had gone to theater school after all. But Debbie’s experiences with said gay community had always been slightly removed. Her friend’s friend whom she had danced with at a party once had been gay. Then of course there was Yolanda and Artie. Debbie knew that gay people were supposed to throw really excellent parties, so she stepped up to the dance floor with high hopes.

The floor was crowded. Yolanda moved through the crowd with practiced fluidity. Debbie watched Artie fallow her, her eyes big. Debbie bit back a laugh. Next to her Rhonda and Melrose were grinding on each other, their movements exaggerated for comedic value. Debbie inched away from them, scanning the room until she found Ruth.

She was leaned against the bar. It looked like she was trying in vain to get the attention of the bartender. Debbie was ready for another drink, so she weaved her way through the crowd. When she was close enough she raised her hand and cut across the bartenders line of vision. She was tall and muscular. She smirked at Debbie and held up a finger to indicate that she was next. 

“Hey.” Debbie said to Ruth as she slid in next to her.

“Hi.” Said Ruth “I’ve been here five minutes.” Ruth grumbled, “How did you get her attention so fast?”

The bartender in question approached them then, her eyes boring into Debbie. Debbie felt her face flush. 

“What can I get you, pretty lady?” the bartender asked, her voice low and smooth. Debbie’s eyes flashed across the woman, she took in her androgynous clothing and muscular arms and inadvertently fluttered her eyelashes.

“Vodka soda for me,” Debbie laughed nervously, “and, Ruth?” Debbie turned expectantly. 

“Uh, I’ll have the same.” Ruth said. She stared at the bartender blankly. The bartender nodded and winked at Debbie.

“You got it.” She murmured. 

“Oh my god!” Ruth rushed “She was flirting with you! No wonder you got her attention.” 

“What? No.” said Debbie, but she couldn’t keep the smile out of her voice. A woman had never hit on Debbie before; at least not so overtly. She stood up a little straighter. Then she looked at Ruth and noticed her sour lip. 

“Don’t pout.” Debbie crooned and gently put her hand on Ruth’s shoulder. Debbie didn’t know what had come over her. It was the night, the drinks, and the success. The hot bartender flirting with her didn’t hurt either. She felt flushed and powerful. 

Ruth was looking at her, her eyes big and searching. Debbie leaned into her ever so slightly. They were already crammed together. Debbie’s move brought their waists together. Then Debbie moved her hand from Ruth’s shoulder to her hip. Debbie saw Ruth’s eyes dilate. Debbie wet her lips.

“Two vodka sodas.” The bartender slid the drinks across the bar and Ruth pulled away from Debbie. She grabbed hers and took a long pull from the straw. 

“Thanks,” managed Debbie, though her voice had grown gruff. “How much?”

“How about I get your number and these are on me?” The bartender leaned into Debbie; she bit her lip.

Debbie laughed and looked from Ruth to bartender. She was flattered and under normal circumstances (like say if this were a man hitting on her), Debbie would give a fake number and back away smiling. But something about the way Ruth was looking anywhere but at them made Debbie want to lose the bartender and ask her what was wrong. 

“Thanks,” said Debbie, she leaned over and passed a twenty-dollar bill to the bartender. “Keep the change.” She said, trying a wink of her own. The bartender nodded, tipped her head, and then she was gone.

“Hey,” Debbie reached for Ruth who was still looking agitated. Ruth jerked away from Debbie’s touch. She roughly put her empty drink on the bar and stepped away from Debbie.

“I’m going to go dance.” She announced and quickly was lost in the crowd.

“Ok, you’re welcome.” Debbie sighed. She leaned back against the bar and took a long drink from her glass. She inspected the room. When she first had come in she had only had eyes for the men. There were more of them, she had expected them, and they were all vying to be the most sensational in the room. Now Debbie could see the pockets of women scattered throughout the venue.

Debbie watched with curiosity as they danced, talked, and flirted with each other. Some were slender and feminine and others were rough and masculine and Debbie eagerly took in all the details she could. Her eyes kept going back to the group of wrestlers. 

Ruth had started to dance with Artie. They were getting into it from the ‘whoops’ that the other girls were giving. Debbie sucked harder on her drink. What was Ruth’s problem? Did she have a problem? Why would she have a problem? Ruth was laughing and her hands were on Artie’s hips.

They were wrestlers; they had all grown familiar with each other’s bodies. In the ring the their most intimate parts smashed into their opponents time after time. To do the moves they had to have an almost withdrawn, work-place realism about them. It was different though, to see Ruth touching Artie without the context of the show. Debbie considered this while she tapped her straw at the bottom of her glass. 

It was empty so she sighed and put it back on the bar. The bartender who had hit on her was at the other end and didn’t spare her a glance. She moved away, unsure for a moment where she wanted to be. Then she threw back her shoulders and joined her friends once more.

Melrose threw her hands in the air and cheered when Debbie returned. Debbie smiled and mimed enjoyment. Her team warmly enveloped her and soon her pantomime turned genuine. She decided that she was done drinking for the night and settled herself at the table they occupied. 

Shelia sat with her. She had changed since they had arrived in Vegas, Debbie noticed. Her features were more open, it seemed like she smiled more. Maybe she worse less makeup? Debbie knew that Shelia and Tammè were taking an acting class together; maybe it was doing good things for her. Debbie found that she was actually having a good time talking to her. Shelia had decent ideas for the show. Debbie felt her producer hat slide onto place and they easily transitioned into business. 

“Sheeeeelia,” came Ruth’s drunken cry. She plopped down next to Sheila and draped her arm across Sheila’s shoulder. “Hey roomie.” She crooned.

“Can you, not.” Shelia said gruffly. She peeled Ruth’s arm off of her and Ruth pouted. 

Wordlessly Debbie passed Ruth her water glass. Ruth gulped at it greedily.

“Thanks.” She sighed. Though she wouldn’t meet Debbie’s eyes.

“Anyway,” Sheila continued on with what she was saying, but Debbie was now distracted by Ruth and hardly heard a word of what Sheila was talking about. Ruth had gotten much drunker than the last time Debbie had been with her. She must have gone off to the bar while Debbie and Sheila were talking.

What time was it? Debbie had no idea. The club was starting to thin out though, never a good sign. Debbie’s policy had long since been to leave them wanting more, the “them” in this case being the club. One more look to Ruth, who looked like she was nodding off in Sheila’s hair and Debbie was convinced.

“You know what Sheila, I think I’m going to call it a night.” Debbie interjected. 

“Yeah, alright.” Said Sheila. Then she gestured at Ruth. “You better take this one with you.”

Debbie laughed and stood.

“Come on Ruthie.” She clucked, “Up we go.”

“No, no. We are having fun Debbie.” Ruth whined. Her eyes were half closed and her lips were pouted.

“Yep. So much fun. Let’s keep having fun! I know, we can get a cab and ride all the way back to the hotel!” Debbie was giving Ruth her best pep and after a little more cajoling the two of them made their way out of the club.

“Bye!!!” Ruth called to their friends. “I’ll miss you so much.” She sighed. Debbie was supporting some of her weight and Ruth leaned into Debbie’s shoulder. Debbie couldn’t help but chuckle. 

It took a few minutes for a cab to pull up, and while they waited Debbie smoked.

“I want one.” Ruth said. She was still pouting. It was still amusing to Debbie, though bordering on tiresome.

“No you don’t.” Debbie said as she lit her own cigarette. 

“Yes, I do.” Ruth said petulantly. Debbie exhaled.

“No you don’t Ruth, you only think you want one. If I give you one you are going to take one drag and get sick.”

“No, that’s not true. Deb just give me one, you’ll see.” Ruth attempted to flutter her eyes in what Debbie assumed to be a seductive manner. Debbie mock sighed.

“Alright, here.” She passed Ruth her lit cigarette and Ruth took it hastily. “Be careful!” Debbie yelped. For a moment it looked like Ruth was going to singe her bangs.

“Hey, I’ve got this. Don’t worry.” Ruth propped the cigarette in her mouth, she kept it in place with a deep frown. Debbie had to fight back a chuckle. “You know, in Soviet Russia, cigarette smokes you.” Ruth drawled.

She took a deep inhale of the cigarette and tipped her head back dramatically. The effect was ruined by the cough. Ruth gagged and held the cigarette back out to Debbie.

“Ack-“ Ruth sputtered.

“Oh, well. Now it’s ruined.” Debbie threw her butt down onto the sidewalk.

“Oh, look here’s our cab.” Debbie sighed. She gently pushed Ruth into the taxi. 

“Fan Tan.” Debbie directed the driver and silently he took them on their way.

Ruth rested her head against the window. Debbie couldn’t see if her eyes were open or closed. After a few moments she spoke.

“Everyone always likes you.” Her voice was quiet and sleepy. 

Debbie laughed uncomfortably; her eyes darted to the taxi driver. 

“What are you talking about.” She tried to brush it off.

“Mmm you know, how every time someone looks at you they fall in love with you?” Ruth turned to look at Debbie. Her eyes were so big and wet. Debbie nearly had to sit on her hands to keep herself from taking Ruth’s face in her hands. Why?

“Fan Tan.” The driver said gruffly. He pulled the car over.

Debbie remained where she was, her gaze still all over Ruth. Ruth looked so sad and small. What was she talking about? Then Ruth looked away and Debbie’s senses returned to her.

“We’re here.” She said. 

Debbie helped Ruth out of the car.

“I’m fine.” Ruth muttered. She swayed and Debbie looped their arms together. Despite her protests Ruth leaned into Debbie. 

They made their way through the lobby. It was late, but the casino was still hopping. People of all ages were gathered together. Laughing, cursing, losing their life savings on an ill-fated night out. 

In the elevator their silence continued. Debbie looked down at Ruth and felt a twinge. It was typical for Ruth to slide into moroseness after a night of heavy drinking. She knew it was why Ruth rarely did it. Debbie tamped down a flame of indignation at the idea that this was the state that Ruth was in when she had first fucked Mark. She couldn’t dwell on that, besides she was mostly over it.

“Hey, we had fun tonight huh?” Debbie said gently. Ruth sniffed. 

“Yeah.” She said. She looked up at Debbie and gave her a little quirked grin. 

Just when the ages long elevator finally dinged their arrival, Ruth began to speak.

“You should have given the bartender your number.” Debbie was shocked, but she kept walking. She laughed.

“No Ruth, she was a lady.” Debbie said obviously.

“So? She liked you. Everyone likes you.” Ruth said it almost pleadingly. Debbie rolled her eyes.

“Are we back on this?” Debbie said, slightly exasperated. 

Ruth was dragging her feet, they were moving so slowly. Debbie tightened her grip and pulled Ruth along. They passed Debbie’s door, but Debbie was committed to getting Ruth to her room safely.

“Why does it matter if she liked me? I didn’t like her. She was a woman.” Debbie said when Ruth didn’t reply. 

“You should be with who you want to be with.” Ruth said sagely.

Debbie snorted. There was no point in talking to Ruth about this anymore, whatever THIS was. They would just go around and around in a drunken loop.

“Anyway Zoya, we are home.” Debbie said. She disentangled their arms and gestured to Ruth’s door.

“Come in?” Ruth asked. Her hands reached up to Debbie’s collar and gripped. Ruth pulled her body closer to Debbie.

Debbie gulped. She could feel Ruth’s warm breath on her face. Up close, this close, Debbie could see how smooth Ruth’s skin was, how pink her lips. She could see the way Ruth’s heart was banging in her chest, as the pulse point at her neck throbbed. Debbie’s lips parted. Ruth’s fingers tightened their hold on Debbie’s shirt.

“It’s late.” Debbie said. It was said almost for show, because in the last few moments all vestiges of sleepiness had flown out of Debbie. 

At Debbie’s words some of Ruth’s sobriety seemed to return to her. She sighed and loosened her hands. She stayed just as close though. Her eyes lidded and regarding Debbie far more keenly than Debbie would have thought Ruth capable of at the time.

“You’ve always been mine in the ring.” Ruth murmured. 

Then Ruth smoothly slipped her key into the door and slid past Debbie. Debbie stood there, breathless as the door gently locked behind her friend.

“What the fuck.” Debbie breathed at least. Then she shook her head and went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

They technically only had had the morning off, but all of the girls were hung over and hardly moving by their two p.m. “call time”. Though Debbie had stopped drinking earlier in the night than some of the other girls, she still felt the effects. 

After Debbie had seen Ruth to her door, she had lain in her bed unable to sleep. Her mind had drifted through the evening, paying particular attention to the last third. When she finally did sleep her dreams were tense and filled with longing.

Ruth was looked particularly pale that morning. When Debbie strolled into the gym Ruth was already there. Her stretching looked lack luster. Tammè sat with her; the two of them seemed to be making small talk while they warmed up. Debbie grabbed a medicine ball and determinedly got to work for herself.

“Come on you slackers!” Sam had made an appearance at their practice. 

He rarely showed up anymore, Debbie was happy to note. The show was essentially on autopilot. The majority of the work done was by the cast and crew, and Bash. Still, Sam liked to throw his weight around. He walked through the gym, commenting where he thought necessary. 

“My brain is broken, I can’t get it to make my body move.” Melrose whined. Melrose was laying facedown on one of the mats.

“Well,” said Sam “You should have thought about that before you decided to stay out all night getting shit faced. Might I remind you ladies that contracts are up soon? I’d hate to have to replace you for the next round of shows. I’d hate to do it, but I would.” Sam sing-songed. 

Jenny made a mocking face from behind Sam’s back. Artie tittered. 

Debbie did her best not to pay attention. She was working up a sweat already. She was completely focused on her workout. She was not thinking about what happened last night. She was not thinking about how soft Ruth’s lips had looked. She was not thinking about the pounding pulse point at Ruth’s neck. She was not thinking about the familiar and spicy scent of Ruth, pressed up against her. Debbie gritted her teeth.

“See!” Sam said. He had finally made his way to Debbie’s area. “This is why Debbie and Ruth are the stars of the show. Look at their determination. Look at them train!” Sam used words of praise, but the tone of his voice was derisive. 

Debbie flipped him off and returned to her squats. Sam moved around and eventually landed near Ruth. Debbie couldn’t hear what he was saying. He had lowered his voice. She didn’t look up. She was not about to be caught eves dropping on those two.

Debbie heard Ruth laugh and went deeper into her squats. Three sets later and Debbie had worked up quite a sweat. When she chanced a glance at Ruth, she saw that she had abandoned her warm up completely. She was looking over something Sam held out to her. Their heads were bent together as they discussed whatever it was.

“Uh, Ruth?” Debbie said. She hated the awkwardness to her voice. She had wanted to come off domineering in front of Sam. “You ready?” Debbie asked when Ruth looked up.

“Oh. Yeah.” Ruth said. Her eyes met Debbie’s for a moment and then darted to Sam. Then she cleared her throat. “Sam was just showing me Justine’s screen play. It’s-it’s really great.” She said.

“Yeah, well. You just read the first five pages. But yeah, it is great. Take a look at the rest when you get a chance?” he asked her hopefully.

“Of course!” Ruth gushed.

“Great. Great.” Said Sam awkwardly. He scuffed his foot along the mat and then shrugged. “Well, I better let you two get one with it.” 

“Bye, Sam.” Ruth said. He smiled at her, nodded at Debbie and picked his way across the gym.

Debbie stood in front of Ruth, unsure for a moment about what to do. Then she moved toward her and gestured at the screenplay.

“Is it really great, or were you just inflating his ego?” she asked.

“No, no.” Said Ruth “It is great, I mean from what I read. I can’t say that I’m surprised though. Justine was always very bright.” Debbie nodded and crossed her arms. 

“So, should we?” she tipped her head toward the ring. 

Ruth blushed and nodded. 

“Yeah. Of course, let me just--” She held up the screenplay and trotted off to the side to stash the packet away. 

Debbie flexed into the ring. She opened her shoulders and took a deep breath. She felt amplified and a little emotional and that was not a great combination in the ring for her and Ruth. It was a few more moments before Debbie heard Ruth roll into the ring. The floor bounced a little and Debbie turned around.

“Want to go through from the top?” Debbie asked.

Ruth nodded. Then she squared up and they rolled out their routine. Debbie flew to meet Ruth and for a few moments the greater concerns of the world faded away. There was only the thumping of her heart, the propulsion of her body, the smack of her body against Ruth’s. There was only trust and responsibility of handling and being handled by another human being. 

When they finished, Debbie signaled to go again. Ruth complied quickly, like she was waiting for the o.k. She sprung at Debbie, her face determined. Debbie’s breath came shorter. They were moving faster than they normally did, but they were still in sync. They kept constant contact with their eyes. Each move asked silent permission. Debbie wouldn’t let Ruth down again, not like that.

At the end of the second round Debbie was breathless. Some of the other ladies had gathered around. When Debbie and Ruth broke away from each other some of them cheered. Debbie was fully out of breath then. She and Ruth both collapsed onto the floor.

“Not too bad for a potato drinker.” Debbie crooned, her voice all Liberty Belle.

“Zoya is pleased capitalist pony likes her tricks.” Ruth responded in her terrible Russian accent. 

Debbie couldn’t help herself but to burst into laughter. Ruth laughed with her and Debbie thought how much she loved to laugh with Ruth. Then Ruth’s words from the night before caught her, how she would always be hers in the ring. What had that meant? Debbie wasn’t sure but she wanted to know.

“Hey, do you want to get a coffee after this?” Debbie rolled onto her stomach to ask. Ruth sat up and looked toward the door.

“I told Sam I would read for him.” Ruth said apologetically. 

“What, you can’t spare an hour?” Debbie asked incredulously. “It’s not required by your job you know.” She pointed out. Debbie tried to control her voice but it was clear by the look on Ruth’s face that she had let some of her frustration through.

“No, but he’s my friend and I said I would.” Ruth said petulantly.

The lightness from before had vanished and Debbie blamed Sam. He was always there in the background somehow, lurking. 

“Fine, whatever.” Debbie snapped. 

Debbie hoisted herself up and slid out of the ring. Neither Ruth nor the other girls said anything when Debbie headed for the locker rooms.

In the locker room Debbie let the water run hot. She was sore and tired and so frustrated. Why did she care if Ruth spent her day reading for Sam? She spent plenty of time with Ruth, why did it matter if Ruth didn’t want to spend extra time with her? They had just been together for the better part of an hour, all over each other. Ruth was an adult and she could do as she pleased. asw

Debbie rationalized, and yet still she rankled. Then the door to the locker room opened the girls flooded in. Debbie took that as her cue and shut off the water. Quickly she dried herself and began to apply her lotion. Suddenly she wanted to be as far away from these women as possible. Debbie untangled her hair and was about to start the blow dryer when Ruth came in.

As usual Ruth came right over to where Debbie changed. In the mirror Debbie could see Ruth as well as she could see herself. Ruth began to pull her clothes off. They were tight and damp from the workout and Debbie tried and failed to avert her eyes. 

“Shit.” Ruth muttered. She had rolled her sports bra into a tight coil and now it bound her. 

Ruth struggled in vain for a few more moments. Debbie put the hair dryer down and turned to Ruth.

“You want some help?” She asked quietly. Ruth bit her lip and nodded.

Delicately Debbie uncurled the bra so that it was more manageable. Her fingers skimmed across Ruth’s smooth side as she did so. Debbie noticed goose bumps rise where her fingertips made contact. Unbidden Debbie felt a bloom of heat in her chest. She pulled up from the bottom and Ruth squirmed. Ruth’s breasts were revealed with a soft slap of the elastic. 

“Hey I thought Yoyo and Artie were the only lezzies in here!” howled Stacey when she saw them.

“Don’t be a pig.” Debbie turned snapped. 

“Ooooh.” Dawn mocked.

“Someone’s a little sensitive.” Stacey whined, but she backed off. 

Debbie’s eyes flickered to Yolanda. She always changed and showered inconspicuously. She met Debbie’s inquisitive look with an eye roll meant for the biddies. Debbie blushed slightly and turned away.

Ruth had wriggled out of the rest of her clothing and was starting her shower. Debbie was nearly ready and desperate to leave. She quickly finished her makeup and repacked her bag. Debbie wanted to be out of there before Ruth was finished.

Later that evening Debbie met Bash for drinks. Whatever he had been working through at the beginning of their residency he seemed to be moving past it. Maybe Vegas was a good place for him. Debbie liked working with Bash. He made her feel sensible. He liked her ideas and he had that fluid income to back her up. And he often did.

Today they were discussing the merits of a variety show. Debbie was on board to make adjustments to the show. They were all getting bored of their routines, so Debbie was pleased to agree to start reshaping the story. Even if that technically was Sam’s department. 

Bash had it in his head that it would be a good idea to bring in jugglers, magicians, and other circus riff-raff that Debbie wasn’t too keen on. But he let her have so many wins that she agreed to one carny appearance per show. The meeting went well and then business started to melt away and they devolved into actual socializing. 

Finally Debbie was getting the gossip she wanted about Bash’s marriage. Ruth had been uncharacteristically stingy with her and Debbie was desperate to know. It seemed as though Bash and Rhonda would actually stay together. 

“As friends, for now.” Bash said. He wasn’t drunk at this point, but Debbie could tell that that was where he was heading. She made a mental note to duck out before the next round. 

“How does that work exactly?” Debbie asked. 

“Well,” said Bash “we live together, but we each have our own space.” Debbie raised her eyebrows.

“And that is satisfying for the both of you?” she asked incredulously.

“Well, yeah.” Bash said as though this were a totally natural arrangement. “Birdie likes her so... She’s really nice and helpful! We have fun talking together. She’s helping me work out my money.” Bash rambled. 

Debbie tried to follow his logic but the situation didn’t compute for her. She had been in a loveless marriage once and she would never do it again. Sure it made sense for Rhonda, it was a great deal for Rhonda, but why would Bash choose to stay married to her? Debbie tipped back the last of her drink. It was time to go.

“Well, good meeting.” She said and stood. “I assume you’ll talk to Sam about the change of narrative?” Debbie knew that Sam respected Bash more than her. Sometimes she liked to throw her weight around and sometimes she preferred to let Bash deal with Sam. After today she had no desire to speak to him. 

“You got it, Debs.” Bash saluted. He knocked back his own drink and stood with her. “I’ve got to see a man about a horse.” He said. Debbie blanched.

“Not for the show right? I think we have had enough with the horses.” She asked. Bash chuckled.

“Not a real horse! Fear not.” He clapped his hand on her back. “See you out there.”

“Yeah.” Said Debbie in farewell. 

As Debbie left the bar she considered where she wanted to go. She hadn’t eaten yet and she was starving. She was weighing her options at the elevator when it opened and Sam and Ruth got off together. Debbie was instantly miffed and was about to brush past them when Ruth stopped her.

“Hey, Debbie!” She called out.

“Ruth. Sam.” Debbie acknowledged. The elevator door closed and Debbie mentally cursed. It would take ages now for a new one to come. Damn these elevators. 

“I was looking for you.” Ruth said. She waved to Sam who was awkwardly hanging on next to her. At the wave though he tipped his head and smiled tightly. He waved half-heartedly and stalked off to the bar.

“You were?” Debbie asked, surprised somehow.

“Yeah, I wanted to know if you were busy? Have you eaten? Do you want to grab a bite?” Ruth rushed over her words. Debbie felt a prickle of satisfaction at Ruth’s clear nervousness. Somehow it soothed her own.

“Actually I was contemplating room service.” Debbie said. Ruth’s face fell momentarily. “Do you want to…join me?” Debbie asked hurriedly.

“Of course.” Ruth smiled. 

“Great.” Said Debbie. “I’m so sick of being around these Vegas shmucks.” She added as they waited for the elevator. “I need a break.” Ruth breathed a laugh. 

“Amen.” She said. “I love the show, I love the girls, but I do not love this town.” 

Debbie nodded her agreement. Vegas was a great opportunity but she did not want to make this a permanent residency. Randy aside, Debbie missed L.A. life. She never thought that she would find a place more superficial than home, but here they were. 

“Want to eat in mine?” Ruth asked as they reached their floor. 

“Yeah, ok.” Debbie replied. They made their way to Ruth’s room and Debbie immediately stretched out on Sheila’s bed. 

“No wolf tonight?” Debbie asked.

“Not for a while,” Ruth replied as she removed her sneakers. “She has her class. I’d be careful though, she might catch your scent.” Ruth raised her eyebrows. Debbie laughed.

“Let her come at me.” She challenged. But all the same Debbie got up from Sheila’s bed and moved to join Ruth on hers.

Their proximity to each other reminded Debbie about helping Ruth in the locker room and it made her blush just slightly. Ruth pulled her feet up and reclined against her pillow. After a moment Debbie reshuffled herself so that she mirrored Ruth’s pose.

Suddenly being in Ruth’s company didn’t feel relaxing in the slightest. Debbie’s heart rate had climbed in the last thirty seconds and she was having a hard time adjusting to it. Her palms were sweaty. She couldn’t remember being this nervous in Ruth’s company ever. Even after she had broken Ruth’s ankle she had still been riding on righteous anger. Now she felt pathetic longing to be closer to someone who was two feet away from her. 

“What do you want?” Ruth asked.

“What?” Debbie asked.

“To eat? You want room service right? I can call down…” Ruth sounded nervous too, and this time it only made Debbie feel more uncertain.

“Uh, yes. Yeah. Cob salad. Please.” Debbie added. 

Ruth rang down and ordered their meals. 

“And two slices of cherry pie please.” She said into the receiver and Debbie raised her eyebrows and Ruth grinned.

“Pie, Ruth?” Debbie asked when Ruth had finished the call.

“Yes, Debbie. Pie. We train hard and we deserve it.” Ruth said smugly.

“You could have at least made it apple.” Debbie grumbled.   
“You like cherry better.” Ruth said knowingly and Debbie really couldn’t argue her.

When the food came Debbie had an excuse to move to the end of the bed. It was better to keep her distance from Ruth because she kept feeling this impulse to reach out and touch her and that was unacceptable. Her body was buzzing, she felt jittery and excited. She decided it must be low blood sugar and threw herself into her salad.

Ruth moaned into her burger and Debbie snorted. It was comical to see Ruth hunkered down over a massive cheeseburger. Her face was slack with enjoyment. 

“Chew with your mouth closed.” Debbie poked Ruth in the thigh with her toe.

Ruth immediately covered her mouth with one hand, burger still in the other.

“Th-orry.” Ruth said around her meal.

“Ugh!” Debbie laughed in mock disgust. “Don’t choke!” she added shrilly as Ruth began to laugh too. “Oh god. Please, just swallow.”

Ruth regained herself and set about eating her burger in an utterly preposterous manner. Delicately, she took small bites and chewed them with her lips pressed firmly together.

“Does this suit your sensibilities missus?” Ruth asked after a minute. She had affected a cockney accent. Utterly absurd. Debbie rolled her eyes hard. 

“No, you’ve got….” Debbie gestured to her own face “mayonnaise. All over.” She deadpanned. 

“What!” said Ruth in outrage, “I do not.” She grabbed her napkin and wiped at her mouth. 

Debbie bit back a laugh. 

“Nope, its….” Debbie used her own napkin and held it up to Ruth. Ruth leaned forward and Debbie dabbed at Ruth’s nose where a smear of mayo had indeed found a resting spot.

“Thanks,” Ruth said. Her eyes were big, her lashes so long. Debbie found that she was still leaned in. But so was Ruth. 

Debbie pulled back and cleared her throat.

“Ruth?” she asked. Debbie shuffled the last bites of her salad around her plate. 

“Yeah?” asked Ruth. There was a touch of nervousness in her voice.

“Do you remember… the other night when you said that, in the ring, I’d always be yours? What exactly did that mean?” Debbie surprised her self by asking. She hadn’t expected to. After that morning Debbie had been prepared to forget it forever, but something about Ruth’s gaze made Debbie’s mouth speak without permission. 

Ruth breathed in sharply. She put her burger down and then cautiously looked at Debbie.

“I guess I—was drunk and I don’t know,“ Ruth fidgeted “It’s like,” Ruth said, “Something I only get to see you in the ring, but when I do, it’s always so easy. Even when it’s not, we get each other. You feel safe to me.” Ruth finished sweetly.

Debbie felt a mix of emotions at her words.

“Ruth, I literally broke you.” Debbie said. “I was horrible to you, for months.” 

She was stunned that Ruth could write over the whole of that bad time. Debbie hadn’t felt like she was looking out for Ruth when they first started wrestling. In fact she had actively wanted to punish her. But then it was also true that without the wrestling, without the show, they probably never would have spoken to each other again. Even now the mere thought made Debbie’s stomach plunge sickly.

Ruth shook her head. She moved her food more securely to the side table.

“I know, I know we still had problems, but don’t you think we…” Ruth looked like she was struggling to find words. She was getting flustered. Debbie almost appreciated it. 

Ruth took a deep breath and tried again.

“I just—I’m not trying to take away from the rocky history, I just wanted you to know that I—I think you have made me a better person, by wrestling me…” she trailed off. 

“And by making you mine.” Debbie goaded. 

Ruth blushed fiercely but she met Debbie’s eyes.

“Yes.” She said primly. “But, I was drunk.” She reminded Debbie.

“Ok.” Said Debbie. 

She looked down at her salad. All of the best parts were gone. She was still hungry so she kept moving the lettuce around until she felt a hand on her wrist. Ruth was looking at her with anxious eyes. Debbie sighed and put down her fork.

“I like…making you mine.” Debbie sighed. She heard the words and her face soon matched Ruth’s in a blush “in the ring I mean.” She clarified. 

Ruth’s hand was still over her wrist. It was warm and soft and Debbie felt like she could feel Ruth’s heartbeat in her fingertips. She didn’t want Ruth to move away, something about the simple touch stoked Debbie with emotions that she couldn’t quite place. Ruth smiled softly at her. 

“Yeah?” she asked. Her voice was so gentle and hopeful that Debbie actually felt like she might swoon.

“Yeah, I mean. We’re here now.” Debbie said awkwardly. “It wouldn’t…it probably wouldn’t have ended this way if not for Glow. So I’m grateful…that we got to…find each other again.” Debbie hedged over her words. Normally she hated to be so…. romantic for lack of a better word, but she owed Ruth at least a smidgeon of vulnerability. 

Ultimately Debbie’s discomfort was worth it when she saw the look on Ruth’s face. Her eyes were bright, so happy, that Debbie felt herself leaning toward her. She was always leaning toward Ruth, she thought. Then Debbie’s stomach dropped because for the first time, a clear thought had emerged. I want to kiss Ruth.

Ruth licked her lips; she opened her mouth to say more. Then Sheila opened the door.

“Oh. Debbie. You’re here.” Sheila said in greeting.

Debbie felt like she had been caught in the act of something. She sat up straighter.

“Hi, Sheila. Ruth and I were just…” Debbie looked to Ruth. She looked as guilty as Debbie felt. “I was just getting ready to leave.” Debbie finished.

“You were?” Ruth asked. She sounded disappointed.

“Uhm. Yeah. I’m real beat.” Debbie said. She smiled at Ruth in what she hoped was a reassuring way. “See you tomorrow?” she asked pointlessly.

“Of course.” Ruth said quietly. She smiled at Debbie. It looked like she was about to say more, but then she closed her mouth.

Debbie nodded and stood. She put her plate back on the server and unnecessarily dusted Ruth’s bedspread for crumbs. 

“Ok you two, it’s been real.” Debbie said once she was ready to leave.

“Wait!” Said Ruth. She jumped up. “Pie.” She explained. She gestured to the server. “Your pie.” She said quietly. 

Sheila had disappeared without a word into the bathroom. Debbie turned at the door to look back at her friend. 

“You can give it to Sheila.” Debbie said quietly. Ruth nodded and took a step toward Debbie.

“She’ll like that.” Ruth said. She took another step in Debbie’s direction. They were sharing the same space now; Debbie could smell Ruth’s shampoo. She fought the impulse to lean in. Fuck.

“Deb?” Ruth asked. Her voice was breathless. 

“Yes?” Debbie replied. Her own voice was a whisper.

Again Ruth opened her mouth as if to speak but then seemed to change her mind. Instead she reached out and squeezed Debbie’s shoulder. When she removed them, the place where she had touched Debbie tingled.

Debbie surprised herself by reaching for Ruth. Her hands circled Ruth’s waist; she pulled her close into a hug. They hugged; hugging was a normal part of their relationship. She rationalized. Without hesitation Ruth’s arms came up around her neck. Ruth tucked her face into the crook of Debbie’s neck. Debbie’s heart raced. 

The weight of Ruth in her arms was shockingly sensual. Experimentally Debbie splayed her hands and let her palms drift up Ruth’s back. She felt, and then heard Ruth’s intake of breath. Her lips were so close to Debbie’s skin. Practically kissing. Under her hands Ruth’s back felt toned and strong. Her body curved in ways differant than Debbie remembered. In the ring they touched all the time, but nothing ever as soft as this.

Wherever Debbie touched Ruth her body ached. She rocked forward ever so slightly. She could feel the pounding in Ruth’s chest and was certain that Ruth could feel the pulse at her neck beating in kind. How long had this hug lasted? Debbie knew she had to break it but she didn’t want to. The longer she held Ruth in her arms like this the more she didn’t want to let go. She wanted the very opposite, to press closer still. To let her hands explore Ruth’s body. She wanted to feel her skin, to know her curves even more intimately. She wanted to taste her, to—

Sheila flushed the toilet. Ruth pulled away and Debbie dropped her arms. She stepped back. Her heart was in her throat. What the fuck just happened? She questioned. Panic bloomed in her chest. What was she still doing here? She had to go. Debbie turned to the door. She kept her eyes down. 

“Bye.” Debbie said gruffly.

“Goodnight.” Ruth replied after a moment. Debbie almost didn’t hear her for the door clicking closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on this piece! They are such a compelling duo. Heads up that there is a wee bit of f/m for like ten seconds but its mostly just embarrassing.

Debbie paced her room. What the hell was going on with her? Her stomach felt sick and twisted. Shame and arousal were battling it out and the combination made her want to throw her high heels into the mirror. Ruth was her friend. She had just gotten her back and now this, whatever _this_ was, was happening.

It had been years since Debbie had felt anything like this. She had long since given up the idea of being swept off her feet. Even before her marriage, she never seemed to get the results that she wanted from dates. Sure, attractive men asking her out was a given, she didn’t spend hours on herself for nothing. But even the most attractive and charming men couldn’t make Debbie feel the way she did now.

If she were to look at it, (which admittedly she might not prefer to) she would find that feeling like _this_ about a close female friend wasn’t completely new to her. Even specifically feeling like _this_ about Ruth wasn’t new. Debbie suspected that whatever feelings were making themselves known to her now, had been simmering for quite awhile. She grimaced.

Debbie didn’t want to examine her feelings, but pacing alone in her room left her no choice. Unbidden, her mind conjured the image Ruth in the low-cut dress from their first night out in Vegas. She thought of Ruth tipsy and dancing with Artie. Ruth as Zoya, poised even as a clown. She thought of Ruth’s beautiful open face. Fuck. She needed a distraction.

It had been almost forty minutes since she had left Ruth’s room. It felt longer. Debbie tried to quell the wave that threatened to crash through her carefully constructed mental boarders. It wasn’t late (also, Vegas) so Debbie decided that she would go down to the bar. There she could drink herself just a little but numb.

Debbie grabbed her purse and smoothed her top. She reapplied her lipstick with a shaking hand. In the mirror Debbie didn’t meet her own eyes. Whatever. She knew she looked good.

At the bar Debbie smoked a cigarette she had accepted from a woman in the lobby. She hailed the bartender and quickly downed two tequila shots. It was close to midnight and the bar was crowded. Debbie had been wary about drinking at the hotel bar; she didn’t want to run into anyone from the show. Still, she perched in her seat and tried to let her mind go blank in the buzz around her.

After a few minutes the tequila started to take its effect. Instead of the hopelessness Debbie had felt in her room, she now felt a growing sense of recklessness stirring. Debbie wanted to fight someone, to get a tattoo, maybe blow Randy’s college fund in the casino.

“Can I get you a drink?” A deep voice asked. Debbie turned and looked the man over. He was handsome, young, well dressed. Debbie raised an eyebrow. Fuck it, she thought.

“Fuck. You’re so hot.” The man, (Chet? Brett?) panted into Debbie’s ear.

Debbie tried hard not to roll her eyes. They had spent the course of one drink together at the bar before Debbie had invited him up to her room. Now they were in bed, naked and grinding, and Debbie was having a hard time keeping focus.

Whatever his name was, he was attractive enough, hot even. But Debbie’s mind traitorously interjected with images of Ruth. Now they were so intrusive that her brain suggested what Ruth might do differently were it she that Debbie was here with.

“Fuck.” Debbie muttered and grabbed Chuck by the back of his neck. She kissed him hard. She bit at his lower lip. She felt him buck into her with pleasure. Debbie reached down and guided him inside of her. He moaned and this time Debbie did roll her eyes.

“Does that feel good, baby?” he breathed.

No. She wanted to say. She wanted to say how lackluster this whole thing was. She was embarrassed to discover that she was nearly in tears. Not from physical pain, but from the utter feeling of loss that came from the idea that she would never get to touch Ruth in the way that this man was touching her. That it was so easy to go downstairs and pick up a horny-hunk when the person that she wanted was down the hall. Unattainable.

Fuck it, she thought again. Just because she couldn’t have Ruth didn’t mean she should have to subject herself to stranger sweat.

“No.” Debbie said and pushed him up and away.

“What?” he said, shocked and a little angry?

“This isn’t doing it for me.” She said, her voice hard.

“Ok,” he said then reached to fondle her breasts. “How about we try—“

Debbie swatted him away.

“No, I don’t think so. You can leave now.” She said and stood. She moved across the room and put her robe on.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked incredulously. He stood too, his appendage dangled comically. Debbie snorted.

“No, I’m not fucking kidding. You can leave now, Champ.” Debbie stooped and gathered his underwear and pants. She tossed them to him and he fumed.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” he said as he angrily as he pulled his clothes on.

“Oh boo-hoo.” Debbie pulled an exaggerated frown. “Just go.”

The man shook his head muttered under his breath stormed past her. He slammed the door and Debbie reached for her cigarettes.

“Fuck!” she cried when her lighter stuck. Her hands trembled; she took a deep breath and lit her cigarette.

Again her eyes couldn’t meet her reflection.

“God, Debbie.” She moaned and sunk down onto her bed. What was she going to do? She sighed.

At least tomorrow would bring Randy, she thought. In another life, when things had been less complicated (somehow), Ruth had suggested that Debbie bring Randy to Vegas. So Mark was bringing him and then after the last show before the break, she would bring him home and stay a few days. She clung to the thought.

Debbie took a few more pulls from her cigarette then stood and stubbed it out in the bathroom. Debbie ran the water until the room filled with steam. When the mirror fogged she removed her robe and stepped into the shower. Her muscles were sore from her rehearsal that day and her head pounded. The hot water soothed and berated her and she stood under it for a long time.

After she adjusted, she began to clean the day away. She had acted erratically. She had totally freaked out, in fact. She would get herself together. She would go to rehearsals tomorrow, she would do the show, and she would be _fine_. Whatever new development, or _whatever_ , with Ruth needed to go away. Things would always be complicated between them, but Debbie was committed to being her friend. So she just needed to stop. It needed to stop.

The next morning Debbie was up early. She put herself together meticulously. Earlier in the week she had prepared a space for Randy’s crib. There were toys for him in the closet and she set about opening their packaging and putting them out for him. All the while Debbie studiously kept her mind free of Ruth. Which became much harder to do when Ruth showed up at her door with two coffees.

“Hi!” Ruth said. Her voice was chipper but there were bags under her eyes that she hadn’t bothered to conceal. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. Tiny wisps of hair poked out from the sides to frame her face. Debbie hated how much she noticed about Ruth.

“What do you want?” Debbie asked. She stood at the door, her body wedged between the frame and the wall.

Ruth held up the extra coffee and smiled brightly. Ruth was a good actress, but it wasn’t hard for Debbie to tell that she was straining. Reluctantly Debbie stepped back and let the door swing open.

“Come on in.” she said. Debbie only tried a little bit to cover up the tiredness in her own voice. “Thanks.” She added when Ruth set the coffee down on her table.

“Something feels weird.” Ruth said. She sat down on one of Debbie’s chairs. “Between us.” She clarified.

Ruth looked at Debbie expectantly and despite herself and her earlier resolve, Debbie felt a flood of warmth at Ruth’s earnest expression. Debbie sighed and sat down in the corresponding chair. She took a long drink from her coffee and inwardly reveled in the taste. Ruth knew exactly how her perfect coffee should taste.

“So, something feels weird.” Debbie stated when she finally looked up at Ruth.

Ruth smiled and fidgeted with her hands.

“Don’t you think?” She asked.

Debbie sank back in her chair. It was so typical of Ruth to barge right in wanting to talk and then throw the conversation to Debbie. Debbie sighed audibly and Ruth’s face fell.

“See?” She said; her voice slightly strained. “It’s like we are back to- back to not being friends and we’ve worked so hard- and last night--“ Ruth said, her voice rising as she spoke.

“Ruth—Ruth-” Debbie tried to interject. She couldn’t do this now. She had spent all night tossing and turning. She was exhausted and precariously close to opening herself up in a potentially detrimental way. Ruth needed to calm down.

“I don’t want to lose you Debbie-“ Ruth said pleadingly.

Ruth’s eyes were so big and vulnerable. Debbie would have had to be made from steel to not be effected by them. They had been through so much; they knew each other so well. And yet, Debbie struggled for a moment with what to say, what to do. Should she be cold and removed? Or…honest and….

Then Debbie stood and kneeled at Ruth’s side. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She might be making a huge mistake, getting this close to Ruth, she thought. But still, she took Ruth’s hand in hers.

“Come on.” She said gently “I think we’re kind of passed that point, don’t you?” Ruth clung to Debbie’s hand. Ruth sniffed and Debbie saw that her eyes were full of tears.

There was nothing that Debbie hated more than to see Ruth sad. It had always been that way, even before Mark. If Ruth was having a bad day that meant that Debbie sympathetically did too until she found a way to fix it. It was one of the reasons that it had been so hard to stay mad at her, Debbie thought. No matter the circumstance Debbie felt deeply obliged to look out for her. Ankle breaking aside that is.

Debbie had to get up and put some distance between the two of them. Ruth was still beautiful even in her upset. Debbie didn’t know how long she had felt this way about Ruth, but it was becoming all too clear to her just _how_ she wanted to make Ruth feel better. She untangled their hands and stood.

Debbie was unsure of herself. She awkwardly perched on her bed, which ended up putting her closer to Ruth than if she had gone back to her chair. Ruth just watched her, her face still so open and exposed.

“Should we… Talk about it?” Ruth asked tentatively.

“No.” Debbie snorted immediately. “I mean…there’s really nothing to talk about Ruth.”

“Are you sure? Because after last night… I just get the feeling that something changed? And I’m just confused, because I thought we were having a nice time?” Ruth’s voice was still pitched too high to sound natural.

This was the last thing Debbie wanted to be doing. She had planned to ignore whatever fluttery feelings were going on inside of her. She had planned to be friendly yet distant to Ruth. She had planned to be lost for a few days in her toddler, and then magically have this whole _whatever_ be over and done with.

Debbie couldn’t ignore her feelings when Ruth came to her door. When she had clearly spent the whole night thinking about how Debbie was mad at her, or something. Besides, Ruth was so pretty, Debbie didn’t know how she had ever been able to have a conversation with her before and not let that thought dominate. Instead of indulging in her thoughts, Debbie leaned back and sighed.

“Ruth, come on. We were! We had a nice time. I’m not mad!” Debbie tried to keep her voice natural, soothing even, but instead it came out harried.

“But then why are you acting like this? Why did you slam the door in my face?” Ruth pressed. Ruth leaned forward, her hands outstretched imploringly. “It’s always so hot and cold with you. One minute you want to spend all of your time with me, and the next you don’t speak to me unless we’re… performing… I don’t know what you want. And- you look at me like... just- what do you _want_?” Ruth almost sobbed.

Debbie scrubbed at her face.

“I don’t—Ruth I—“ Debbie had too much nervous energy. She stood and grabbed her coffee, just for something to do.

She took a sip and tried to formulate a plan. Comfort Ruth, lie to her, get her out, go to rehearsal, and see Randy, do the show.

“We’re fine, Ruth.” She tried again. Debbie sat back down in her chair. “I’ve just been…busy with the show, with missing Randy.” She tried.

“Bullshit.” Ruth shot at her, “I know you, and it’s something more. Please don’t lie to me.”

Debbie felt traitorous tears come to her eyes. Why had she opened the door to Ruth?

“Please Ruth, I’m not lying to you, I just can’t—“ Debbie’s voice faltered. She already felt as though she had revealed too much.

“But you’re holding back.” Ruth pressed.

Ruth kept inching toward Debbie and Debbie’s body seemed to be pulled to her in response. Debbie wanted nothing more than to diminish the space between them until their bodies could touch. She wanted to touch Ruth more than anything she had ever wanted.

“Is it still about Mark?” Ruth asked, she sounded queasy.

The thought of Mark and Ruth suddenly offended Debbie in an entirely new way. Or maybe the real reason the betrayal had cut so deep in the first place was revealed to her. Jealousy coursed through her like a hot wave.

“What?” Debbie spluttered. “No. Fuck _Mark_ , this has nothing to do with him.” Debbie tried to cover her new revelation with her old outrage.

“But then you agree that there is _something_ going on.” Ruth said begged.

“Yes, Ruth, God.” Debbie huffed.

She put her hand across her face. Ruth was relentless. Did Debbie dare to reveal her position? She felt recklessness stirring inside of her. The growing need to _feel_ and _know_ , became so powerful that in a moment of thin resolve Debbie stood from her chair and faced Ruth. She reached for Ruth’s hand and pulled her to her feet.

Debbie didn’t let go of Ruth’s hand when she stood. Her heart pounded in her chest. What are you doing? Her mind screamed. She tuned it out. She tuned out everything but Ruth.

They stood there, face-to-face, sharing space so that Debbie could smell the coffee on Ruth’s breath. If it had been Mark, or anyone else, she would have winced, but Ruth’s breath was sweet and gentle and Debbie couldn’t help herself but to lean in, just slightly. Then Ruth surprised Debbie by raising her hand and gently brushing it against her cheek. Debbie trembled under her touch. Her eyes fluttered shut and for a moment she cherished the warm sensation.

When Debbie opened her eyes Ruth’s face was so close. Her lips were parted and her eyes held depths of longing that Debbie recognized from her own reflection, the one that she had been so keen to avoid. With flashing clarity Debbie realized that they were in the same boat. This wasn’t one-sided longing. This was real.

The knowledge made Debbie unaccountably shy. She could feel her face flush. Ruth removed her hand from Debbie’s cheek and Debbie grieved the loss of contact immediately. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and kissed Ruth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also its looking like this might go on for a little longer than I originally thought....so yay!


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing she noticed was just how soft Ruth’s lips were. Debbie’s hands flew up to Ruth’s face. Ruth moved into Debbie, her lips parted. Debbie felt a swoop of desire when Ruth began to kiss her back.

Debbie’s hands slid to the back of Ruth’s head, she pulled her closer. Closer. God she needed Ruth even closer still. Ruth responded in kind, her hands twisted the material of Debbie’s shirt. She pressed against Debbie and the friction was divine. Debbie broke the kiss so that she could slide her lips up and down Ruth’s neck. Ruth let out a breathy moan and Debbie felt a rush of liquid heat at her center.

“Debbie.” Ruth sighed.

Ruth went soft in Debbie’s arms and Debbie slowed her movements. She pulled back so that she could see Ruth’s face. Ruth had closed her eyes and Debbie saw that her long brown lashes were glistening with tears. The pair shifted until they were in an intimate hug. Debbie closed her eyes. Her chin wobbled.

This had been a real rollercoaster of a morning, of a week, of a year. Ruth moved in Debbie’s arms and reluctantly she pulled away. Debbie hastily swiped away a tear from her own cheek. Ruth was looking at her like she was drowning in something, Debbie wasn’t sure if it was going to be good or bad.

“We’re going to be late for rehearsal.” Ruth said eventually.

Fuck, that was her response? Debbie crossed her arms Defensively.

“Fuck it.” She scoffed. “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk.” She hadn’t meant to come off so caustic, but Ruth flinched at her tone.

Debbie put her hands to her face.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m just—This—What we just…I mean come on Ruth how are we supposed to go down there, and wrestle each other… Fuck.” _How is that all you have to say to me?_ Is what she really wanted to say.

Debbie sank down into her chair, then changed her mind and stood again. She had too much anxious energy. She didn’t trust herself right now.

Ruth laughed and Debbie glared at her.

“What?” she snapped.

“Maybe we _should_ just go down there and wrestle each other.” Ruth said, though she didn’t sound all together convinced by her words.

“And what, act like we didn’t just—Is that what you want?“ Debbie cut herself off.

The idea of pretending that this hadn’t happened, _wasn’t happening_ , didn’t seem like something Debbie could do. She wanted Ruth, all of her. Now that the door was opened there was no closing it. Debbie had seen herself clearly for the first time and although it was terrifying suddenly, the world made a little bit more sense to her.

Ruth was shaking her head.

“No, I don’t think I can do that.” Ruth said and relief flooded Debbie.

“Ok.” Debbie breathed, “So what then?”

Ruth sighed.

“I don’t know? We do our jobs and then maybe after work we get to keep kissing each other?” Ruth blushed fiercely and Debbie’s insides somersaulted.

Debbie stepped forward; she didn’t want any distance between them anymore. At first she didn’t know how to approach Ruth. She had never in her adult life romanced someone shorter than her. She knew Ruth’s body in so many ways, but this was new and she wanted it to be good, for it to work.

Ruth stood before her, her posture was straight, but her clasping hands gave away her nervousness. When Debbie smiled softly at her, her lips parted. From the hallway Debbie could hear the rise of her teammates voices. They were on their way down. If they didn’t follow soon they would have to explain their absence.

Debbie couldn’t go down just yet. She needed some kind of closure. She felt displaced from her body, like she was floating and weightless. They _had_ just kissed right? Debbie needed that contact again. She needed to feel the weight of Ruth in her arms again. 

Before she could stop herself, Debbie took both of Ruth’s hands and gently brought her fingertips to her mouth. She traced them back and forth across her lips then opened Ruth’s palm and kissed it.

Ruth’s eyes fluttered and Debbie felt how sensuous an act this was. She leaned in and Ruth met her mid way for the kiss. It was gentle, almost chaste, but it carried a significance that made Debbie’s blood thrum.

This time when the kiss broke Debbie kept her eyes closed; she didn’t want to let it go. Ruth nuzzled her nose and Debbie smiled.

“Come on. We should go.” Said Ruth gently. Though she had started to run her hands along Debbie’s sides. Debbie groaned and leaned into her. Her whole body ached for more of Ruth’s touch.

Debbie turned her face and caressed Ruth’s cheek and neck with her lips. Debbie brushed her nose up to her ear and Ruth shivered. Experimentally she swiped with her tongue along the bottom of Ruth’s earlobe. Ruth bucked her hips and Debbie gripped Ruth’s sides. The pleasure that she had took in stoking Ruth’s arousal was surprising and delicious.

“We should go.” Ruth whispered again.

“Fuck them.” Debbie whispered back. She was delighted to see the soft hairs along Ruth’s neck rise. “Stay with me.” Debbie felt drunk, the only thing that mattered to her in the moment was Ruth – touching her to be more specific. 

Ruth fisted Debbie’s shirt in her hands and buried her face in her chest. Debbie’s heart thudded as Ruth began to rub her face against her. She kissed and stroked her exposed skin. Debbie’s hand slid down to cup Ruth’s face. She bit her lip in pleasure.

Ruth’s hands were wrapped around Debbie’s waist. Her lips traveled up her neck and met Debbie’s. Ruth’s tongue tentatively swiped at Debbie’s bottom lip and Debbie responded eagerly. Debbie swept Ruth into her arms. She gripped her tightly; Debbie tried to pour all of her emotion into the kiss. On the other side of the kiss she felt Ruth do the same.

They ended up making it to practice only a few minutes late. Their kiss had been broken and Ruth had reasoned that they would spend their whole practice time together.

“But I can’t touch you like this down there.” Debbie breathed as her hands explored Ruth’s body.

Ruth’s breath hitched and she leaned into Debbie.

“You practically will be.” She laughed.

Suddenly Debbie was laughing too. Both of them, in fits as waves of laughter rocked between the two of them. Debbie didn’t know if it was the stress, or just the pure ridiculousness of the situation. Either way, when the laughter subsided she felt lighter than she had in days.

“Uuugh.” Debbie moaned. “Fine. Let’s go.”

“Great.” Said Ruth brightly. “Then maybe we can pick this up after the show?”

“Randy is coming tonight.” Debbie said apologetically.

“Oh.” Said Ruth, her face fell.

“But uh… you know. He will go to sleep…” Debbie tried to sound suggestive but she was too nervous. “I mean, he might not, because Mark is taking him to the show and that’s already past his bed time so who knows what will end up happening. God, we probably should have had him come for the matinee.” Debbie babbled.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine.” Said Ruth. “How about I just… stay with you.” Ruth suggested. Suddenly she sounded as nervous as Debbie did.

“Yeah.” Said Debbie. “Yes. Ok. That…. yeah.”

So it had been settled.

“You’re late!” said Sam when they entered.

“Relax, Sam.” Bash said from the ring.

“What the fuck Bash, don’t tell me to relax.” Sam said angrily, but he went back to his notes.

Zoya and Liberty Belle were set to enter at the end, so ultimately it didn’t matter. They had practiced their new moves yesterday, and a large portion of their dialogue would be ad-libbed. Ruth and Debbie took their places with the other wrestlers.

“Who was that sexy number I saw leaving your room last night?” Melrose asked to Debbie.

Next to her Debbie felt Ruth stiffen.

“Oooh, yeah.” Said Yolanda, “We saw you chatting at the bar with some stud. Thought we would leave you to it.” She winked at Debbie.

Debbie glared back in response. Fuck, she thought. She checked on Ruth with her peripheral vision. Ruth sat staring straight ahead. Debbie’s heart was pounding now. The thought of losing Ruth to some stupid fling was excruciating.

“Come on Debbie! I’m living vicariously through you.” Whined Melrose. She sagged dramatically against the back of her chair.

Debbie shifted and forced out a laugh. Should she deny it? Two witnesses would make a lie look totally nuts. She took a deep breath and tried to brush them off.

“Oh, well.” She shrugged. “It didn’t last long.” She said finally.

“Uugh that is soooo disappointing. Next time lie to me!” Melrose said brightly.

“That’s our queue!” Yolanda nudged Melrose and the two left for the ring.

Debbie turned to look at Ruth. Her face was pale and she didn’t turn to meet Debbie’s gaze. Debbie wanted to talk to her, but they were still around most of the girls. Debbie reached out her pinky and stealthily drew a pattern on Ruth’s thigh.

Ruth flinched away and Debbie’s heart sank. Great, over before it began, she thought.

When it was their turn Debbie took her usual seat in the audience. Rising from the audience was a huge crowd pleaser and they had all agreed that that bit should stay. Their new routine involved a few more high impact moves that were sure to cheers from the room. Their story combined a little more intrigue that they pulled from their season; it all flowed together easily.

Despite whatever strangeness going on between Debbie and Ruth their communication in the ring was flawless. Debbie was immensely grateful. She tried to tell Ruth with her eyes about how meaningless that man had been. She tried to convey wordlessly how invested Debbie was in making sure that neither of them got hurt. She was so tired of them hurting each other.

Ruth remained frustratingly professional. Gradually her attitude began to pick away at Debbie’s certainty. There was no denying that Ruth had kissed her back, had touched her back, but Ruth had never declared anything. There had been no real promises made. Debbie was starting to wonder if she had put herself on Ruth, projected her feelings onto her. What if Ruth was so keen to please her friend that it was easier for her to pretend to have feelings for her?

After their rehearsal they had an hour break before it was time to start with hair and makeup. Debbie knew that Mark and Susan would be checking in soon. Part of her wanted to stay and talk to Ruth, but Ruth wasn’t making that easy. As soon as Sam had called he had asked to see her about some notes for Justine’s screen play and Ruth had easily gone off with only a glance at Debbie. Debbie could either wait around for her, or go see if her baby was here; so she left.

In the lobby Debbie took a seat in one of the stiff armchairs. She didn’t have to wait long, soon she heard the all too familiar sound of Randy’s howls. It had been a little over a week since she had seen him. It had been one of their longest separations yet. Debbie was in such a mood that the sounds of his shrieks actually brought tears to her own eyes. Debbie stood and saw Susan holding the thrashing toddler while Mark hauled their bags in.

“Oh thank god.” Said Mark when Debbie swooped down on them. “He’s been crying since we landed.” He looked weary.

Randy reached for Debbie and she nearly sobbed.

“Hi baby, hi.” She cooed at him. “How was your very first plane ride? Was it scary? I bet you were so brave.” He had settled a little, but still looked overwhelmed. Debbie turned to Mark and Susan.

“How about I take him up to my room and distract him for a little bit, see if he settles. Let you check in.” She offered.

Mark nodded.

“Great.” Said Debbie. “I have to be in hair and makeup in about forty-five minutes. If I don’t see you here, come find me behind those doors.” She gestured toward their ballroom. “Ask Mike, he’s our bouncer.” She indicated the man.

“Alright.” Mark said. He tickled Randy’s stomach. Randy stared blankly at him.

“Anyway.” Said Debbie briskly. “Thanks for bringing him. Susan, lovely to see you.” She said as an afterthought.

Debbie continued to talk to Randy as she brought him upstairs.

“Oh my god he’s getting so big!” Dawn and Stacy were fussing over Randy while Debbie did her makeup.

He sat between them staring around and trying to grab everything off the tables. At home he was running everywhere, but here he seemed perfectly happy to be passed from person to person as they got ready.

“I’m pretty sure having a baby around is good luck.” Carmen said.

“Why on earth do you think that?” Rhonda asked. She had been the only one not to fawn over Randy. Debbie didn’t mind; kids certainly were not everyone’s cup of tea.

“Because I don’t know, when I was a kid my dad used to tell us that when we came to visit.” Carmen said.

“Carmen that is so cute!” Jenny gushed, “Your dad really loves you. Because there is no way that kids are good luck. Sorry Debbie.” She added.

“No offense taken.” She said. Her eyes were focused on her makeup. God, why did Liberty Belle need quite so much glitter? She sighed. Almost done.

“He wants you, Ruth.” Stacy called over.

Ruth had been there when Debbie had come in with Randy. They had shared a small smile but nothing more. Now she held out her arms to him and he toddled over to her. Ruth was meticulous with her Zoya makeup and she had it applied in full. Her hair was big and she looked great. Ruth easily scooped Randy and he reached for her hair.

“Nooo.” Said Ruth Ruth. “I know, how about we walk the hallway!” Randy held Ruth’s hand and together they ran up and down the tiny hallway.

Ruth was half-bent over in order to allow Randy his full stride. Debbie watched them from the mirror, the brush in her hand still.

“Sooo fast!” Ruth was cooing.

Randy was eating it up. He had always liked Ruth, even when things had been terrible between Ruth and Debbie. Randy cackled at his own speed as his little feet slapped the floor. Debbie felt a surge of longing as she watched them. Longing for both Ruth and Randy. Debbie wanted to see this everyday.

“Dad’s here!” Tammè called.

Mark stood awkwardly in the doorway. None of the girls were in a state of undress, but the general air of the room clearly had Mark nervous. Debbie stood and turned to him. Just then Ruth and Randy came barreling back down the hallway.

“Oh.” Said Ruth and she pulled up short.

“Da!” squealed Randy happily.

“Hi, Ruth.” Mark said.

A bronze blush had crept onto his face. Debbie stood frozen. To look at them together made a sick coil fall to the pit of her stomach. Recently it had been easy to separate what Mark and Ruth had done from the people that they were. Particularly since they had moved to Vegas. Debbie _had_ processed, she _had_ come to terms with it, and she _had_ forgiven Ruth. But seeing them together now was a stark reminder of what Ruth had been capable of.

They were both looking at her. Ruth’s face was white and Mark continued to shuffle awkwardly.

“Da!” Randy shrieked again.

Debbie strode over and scooped him up before Mark could. Randy stared at her face, his eyes huge.

“Da?” he turned to his dad and then pointed back at Debbie.

“Mama!” he chortled. He wriggled deeper into Debbie’s embrace.

He was so cute and the moment he had broken had been so tense. Debbie felt a tear come to her eye and blinked it away furiously. No way was she going to weep glitter trails down her face.

“Oh you are the best.” She breathed him in for one more minute and then passed him back to Mark.

“Thanks.” He said gruffly.

“Yeah.” Said Debbie. “So, I don’t know how much of the show he is going to make it through. Do your best I guess, if you need to take him out that’s fine.”

They had been over all of this on the phone earlier in the week, but it made Debbie feel like she was in control to tell him the plan again.

“You got it.” Said Mark. “Come on kiddo, let’s go find Susan in the audience.” He murmured.

“Susss.” Said Randy.

“Susss.” Mark repeated back.

Worriedly he glanced over to Debbie who just rolled her eyes.

“I love you.” She tickled Randy one more time for good measure. “You should go, they’re going to call it any minute.” She added. Mark waved along with Randy to the ladies. They all waved back.

“Bye sweetie.” Tammè said as she wiggled her fingers.

When they were gone the ladies turned back to their final touches. Debbie and Ruth were left standing together. Debbie studied Ruth. The air between them was tense; Debbie felt everything in magnification. Their entire history spun around in her head. Ruth was looking at her like she was supposed to say something. Debbie opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“Alright let’s do this!” Sam called. “Melrose, Junk-chain you’re up!” and the show began.

Debbie and Ruth waited backstage. They could hear the show through the doors. Randy’s seat wasn’t visible from backstage so Debbie had no interest in watching. They had done the show dozens of times now and her cue was the only thing she paid attention for.

Ruth had been in and out. The two of them hadn’t spoken a word. Ruth kept looking furtively over at Debbie and Debbie kept avoiding her. Debbie wasn’t sure what had happened over the course of the day. Could it really have been just this morning that they kissed? Debbie was exhausted by it all.

Debbie couldn’t deny that seeing Ruth and Mark together tonight hadn’t affected her. It was becoming clear that the work she had done on forgiveness might not have been enough. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Her feelings for Ruth were becoming tangled with her feelings of betrayal at Ruth’s hands. Or maybe it had been there all along and she was only aware of it now.

“Deb…” Ruth had come to stand with her in the hallway.

Some of the other ladies who had already performed milled about, but most of them had returned to the dressing room to remove their makeup. Their fight was coming up. Debbie sighed.

“Yes, Ruth?” she didn’t meet Ruth’s gaze but stared straight ahead at the wall instead.

Debbie felt a cool hand slip into hers. She closed her eyes and her lip wobbled.

“Do you still want to see me after this is all over?” Ruth asked hesitantly.

Debbie clung to Ruth’s hand. Yes. She wanted to see Ruth after. Despite her worries Debbie didn’t want to be apart from Ruth. The only way that things would get better was for them to talk about it. Debbie nodded.

“Yes.” She whispered.

Her eyes darted to Ruth. She looked small. Debbie squeezed her hand and then let it go.

“Is that what you want?” Debbie asked eventually. Through the wall they could hear the crowds cheers and boos.

“Of course it is.” Ruth breathed.

Some of the tension that Debbie wound tightly around Debbie’s chest loosened. Okay, she thought, it’s a start. And then it was her cue.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Debbie got her makeup off she met backstage with Mark. Randy fussed in her arms as they made their final plans. Susan and Mark were to stay in Vegas for the night and then fly back to L.A.

“Yeah, that’s the last time we’re flying with this guy.” Mark said. He looked exhausted.

“Oh, please.” Debbie muttered. Randy was starting to settle. His eyes were drooping and his hand hung out of his mouth.

“He’s getting so big.” Debbie breathed in his smell.

“Hey, I’m sure he’s going to be fine on the way back.” Mark said. It was clear that he was itching to leave.

“Alright, go, go. I’ve got him.” Debbie said. “Thanks for… bringing him to the show.” She said, almost shyly.

“Yeah well.” Mark shrugged “It’s nice to get away for a bit.”

Ruth had seen them talking and quietly approached.

“Hey,” she murmured.

“Hi.” Mark said. He didn’t make eye contact with her.

“Ready?” Debbie asked Ruth.

“Mhm.” Said Ruth.

“Ok. So I have your room number. Our flight is on Tuesday.” Debbie reiterated.

“Got it.” Said Mark, “Bye little monkey.” He cooed to the dozing Randy.

“Go, go.” Debbie shooed him out of the corridor.

“Hi.” She said, turning to Ruth.

“Hey.” Said Ruth.

Ruth’s eyes were bright but her stance was cautious.

“So,” Said Debbie “I’ve got this sleeping kid. Want to… come be very quiet in or around my room?” she asked wryly.

Debbie tried to keep her voice from shaking. Ruth nodded eagerly and Debbie bit back a smile.

“Ok. Good.” Debbie gestured with her head and they moved through the hallway back into the casino.

“Hey, Ruth!” Sam called as he jogged over to them.

Randy shifted in Debbie’s arms and she glared daggers at him. Sam held up his hands in apology and pulled Ruth to the side. Ruth protested but then her eyes went big at whatever Sam was telling her. They talked quietly for a minute.

  
“Ruth?” Debbie called to her. She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice, but she was embarrassed to hear a quiver.

Ruth said something to Sam; her hand was on his arm. He shook his head and wandered off. For a moment Ruth stood and then she returned to Debbie.

“What did he want?” Debbie asked as they waited for the elevator.

“Well…” said Ruth after a deep breath, “Over the break Sam is going back to L.A. to help Justine get her movie made.”

“Oh, wow.” Debbie said. She hadn’t expected that answer.

“Yeah,” said Ruth “he uh, he wants me to go with him. He said that if they get a “yes” that there would be a part for me.”

“What? Wow, that’s… congratulations.” Said Debbie. “How come he went off in a snit?” she asked.

“He wanted me to go get a drink with him, celebrate. I told him I had plans.” She added softly. Debbie smiled.

“Anyway,” continued Ruth “There is nothing to celebrate yet.”

“Are you going to go with him?” Debbie asked. The thought of Ruth heading back to L.A. for the break had her heart beating faster. If Ruth went home they could spend time together while Debbie was back. They could share a hotel… Debbie shook her head, she was getting ahead of herself.

“I’m not sure.” Ruth waffled.

The two stepped onto the elevator. Debbie gestured for Ruth to press their floor; her hands were full with the slumbering child.

“What’s not to be sure of? This could be a great opportunity for you.” Debbie said.

A couple got onto the elevator with them, they were noisily kissing. The man had the woman pressed against the wall; her leg was hooked around her knee. Debbie let her eyes wander over them. Her face flushed as she imagined doing that with Ruth.

“It could be.” Ruth said quietly. “But Sam said that if this gets picked up it could mean the end of Zoya.”

“Why? Production on the movie wouldn’t start for months.” Debbie said.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. The couple whose floor they had landed on hadn’t seemed to notice.

“Hey,” Debbie shifted Randy to one side so that she could snap her fingers at the pair. “Why don’t you take it to the room?”

The woman giggled and disentangled herself from the man. The man grinned at Debbie and Ruth like they were all in on some joke together. They disembarked and disappeared when the doors slid closed.

“Sam said that he has been sending the script around. Doing it from here while Justine finishes up the semester? He thinks that his meeting is just a formality and that they are going to sign on it. He thinks production in Utah might start in the next three months.”

“Utah?” Debbie asked in disbelief. The buoyant feeling that had been rising in Debbie since they had left the lobby together started to deflate. If Ruth left for Utah Debbie would barely get the chance to see her at all.

“What about the show?” Debbie asked uselessly.

“We didn’t get into it, but it sounds like the movie is Sam’s priority.” Ruth said regretfully. “He’s barely doing anything with the show anymore.” She added as an afterthought.

They got off the elevator and slowly moved down the hall. Debbie’s spirits had dropped significantly. The reality of their situation had finally caught up with her. Her fevered desire had been dampened by it. Her longing had been powerful enough to blur her senses. But now Debbie was reminded that they had actual responsibilities in this world; that GLOW wouldn’t last forever. When it was over, what would they go back to?

They were silent as they entered Debbie’s room. Ruth’s head was clearly still in her conversation with Sam. The tone of their encounter had changed entirely. Debbie settled Randy into his pack-n-play. He transitioned easily but she spent an extra moment stroking his back. Finally she sighed and turned to Ruth.

She was sitting on the extra bed gazing at her hands. Debbie went to sit next to her. Boldly she took one of Ruth’s hands in hers. They sat in silence for a while, their hands intertwined. Debbie tried to enjoy the feeling of holding Ruth, her soft hands slightly marred by callouses that she had developed from wrestling. But there was no denying the solemnity in it.

“What are we doing?” Ruth asked eventually. Her voice was quiet and so uncertain. Though it matched the way Debbie herself felt, it still broke her heart a little bit to hear Ruth’s voice quake.

“I don’t know.” Debbie sighed.

“What do you want?” Ruth asked. She sounded like she was afraid of what Debbie’s answer might be.

“I honestly don’t know Ruth.” Debbie sighed again. Ruth nodded in agreement. She loosened her grip on Debbie’s hand. Debbie tightened hers in response.

She knew that she didn’t want to lose this closeness with Ruth. But was she ready to be in a relationship with a woman? Was that what she wanted? She wasn’t sure.

There was a lot to consider. She didn’t think she could do… be…act, the way Yolanda did. She wasn’t… _proud_ of how she felt about Ruth. She wasn’t necessarily ashamed of them, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to proclaim her feelings to the world either.

Debbie turned her head slightly to look at Ruth. She stared straight ahead, obviously lost in thought like Debbie herself was. Ruth hadn’t let go of her hand completely, but it was Debbie who maintained their connection. And with the acknowledgment of that thought, doubt coursed through Debbie once again. How much did Ruth want her? How willing was she to fight for this?

“Ruth,” Debbie tried to make her voice strong and certain, “What do _you_ want?”

Ruth silently shook her head. Her grip loosened even more in Debbie’s hand. Debbie’s heart sank further.

“I got so jealous.” Ruth whispered finally. “I _get_ so jealous.” She amended. “Every time… every time I see you with someone.” She laughed “Or hear about it.” She looked at Debbie meaningfully.

Debbie looked down shame-faced. But there was a little part of her that thrilled at this confession. Ruth was jealous. Ruth _did_ want her, at least a little.

“It’s always been like that I guess.” Ruth said. She was gearing up for some kind of monologue. Normally Debbie avoided Ruth’s platitudes, she was so dramatic, but under these circumstances Debbie listened with baited breath.

“Even before you and Mark…” Ruth said cautiously. “When you would bring your boyfriends around, I always hated them. At the time I guess I thought you just had bad taste.”

Debbie scoffed in response. Ruth smiled at her bashfully.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it recently and now it makes sense.” Ruth shrugged. “I wanted you to myself.”

Ruth repositioned her hands so that she could get a better hold on Debbie’s. Debbie looked down at their intertwined hands. She wanted this with Ruth. She wanted it all. She was still confused, afraid even, of what her feelings might mean. But Ruth was right; this connection explained a lot about their friendship.

“How long…have, have you known?” Debbie asked hurriedly. She was afraid that Ruth would stop talking. She wanted to ask more questions. She wanted the equivalent of reading Ruth’s diary. She needed to know the extent of how Ruth was feeling.

Debbie’s own emotions, as usual, were wild and _so_ big. All day she had felt the constant pull of their situation. Now that it had come to her attention, it consumed her. How, _how_ had she gone this long without understanding the breadth of her feelings toward Ruth?

“It’s hard to say.” Ruth said. Her gaze was on the sleeping Randy. “I think I might have always felt…this way,” Ruth continued on carefully, “but I don’t know…I guess after…. after what happened with Mark?” Ruth’s grip had tightened as if she was afraid that with the reminder of her betrayal Debbie would kick her out.

Debbie wanted to ask how exactly Ruth felt about her. She wanted clear lines to organize Ruth’s feelings for her, so that she could match them with her own. Maybe if Ruth did all of the talking, she wouldn’t have to give more of her position away. Debbie was stuck between her feelings of desire for Ruth and her apprehension of what they meant.

“What about you?” Ruth asked. Her voice was so quiet that Debbie could have pretended she hadn’t heard.

“It’s…similar.” Debbie said eventually. She felt profoundly uncomfortable but could tell that Ruth did as well. She didn’t want to alienate Ruth, not again.

“I mean… I didn’t _know_ know until a few days ago.” Debbie admitted. “But, I’ve always felt different about you. I’ve never had a friend like you before.” She said, hating how sappy it made her sound.

Debbie was rewarded for her intimacy with a squeeze from Ruth’s hand.

“It’s probably why I reacted the way that I did.” Debbie said eventually. “I mean, what you did was _fucked_.” Debbie turned her head to look at Ruth, to soften her words. “Under any circumstance it would have been fucked. But uh, I definitely cared more about the…you of the matter more than the….Mark.”

It was strange to be talking to Ruth about the break up of her marriage. They had shied away from it so much. In the cautious rebuilding of their relationship, it seemed like something too big to deal with directly. It had to be compartmentalized, set aside for the right time to deal with. Debbie had honestly thought that that time might never come.

“I’m so sorry, Deb.” Ruth said. Her voice was so earnest that Debbie had to close her eyes.

“I know.” She breathed. She batted a tear away with the hand that wasn’t clutching Ruth’s. “It…you broke my heart Ruth.” She said. The words were heavy on her tongue but once they left her mouth she felt lighter for it.

“I know. I know.” Ruth said. Her voice was beseeching. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, but it’s all I want.”

Debbie leaned into Ruth’s shoulder. The warmth and pressure of her presence was a balm to Debbie’s rough emotions. They sat in silence for a while. Debbie’s eyes hovering over Randy as he slept, but not really seeing him.

“I have to…um, pee?” Ruth said, finally breaking the silence.

Debbie laughed quietly. “No one’s stopping you.”

“Right.” Said Ruth, though she didn’t move.

They were looking at each other fully in the face now. Debbie’s stomach fluttered at the shy smile that Ruth was giving her. There could to be a way that she could have it all, couldn’t there? Maybe she didn’t need to live a life like Yolanda, or anyone else, to have what she wanted from Ruth.

“Go.” Breathed Debbie. “I want you to come back.” To make clear exactly what she meant Debbie dipped her chin and gently brushed her lips against Ruth’s.

Ruth gasped when their lips touched, her eyes fluttered closed. Ruth leaned closer and opened her mouth slightly. Debbie had intended a chaste kiss that would promise more, but the moment Ruth responded want consumed her. A moan passed her lips; the vibration caught between them only drove Debbie to press harder.

Ruth’s hands rose to tangle in Debbie’s hair, the twisting of her fingers against Debbie’s scalp felt so good. Debbie leaned into Ruth, her own hands making their way up Ruth’s back. Her body was firm and Debbie relished dipping her fingers along the curves of her muscles. These parts of her body were not foreign to Debbie; in the ring she gripped Ruth all the time. However, that was fast and hard, nothing like the gentle touches that she could give now.

Debbie’s heart started to beat faster. The more of Ruth’s skin that she touched the harder it seemed to pound. The scent of Ruth’s skin, again so familiar, seemed to permeate the air. Debbie was starting to become dizzy, her senses overloaded. Ruth’s lips were pressing and pulling in such a way that Debbie felt her whole body ignite.

“Please...” Debbie whispered. The word escaped her lips when Ruth’s own moved to her jaw. Debbie was too consumed with desire to feel embarrassment. It was clear to her that Ruth could do whatever she wanted with her; Debbie would lap up any bit of affection she offered and still want more.

Ruth’s grip in Debbie’s hair loosened and her hand traveled down her neck and back. Her hands flitted under Debbie’s dress. When Debbie felt Ruth’s hand caress her bare skin her nipples hardened. Debbie wanted nothing between them, no more clothing, and no more words, only their skin meeting like this, everywhere.

Ruth groaned and pulled away.

“I really have to pee.” She said. “Stay just like this.” She breathed. Her voice was thick with arousal and Debbie thrummed with it.

Ruth reluctantly moved from Debbie; her eyes raked her over one more time before she bit her lip and turned to the bathroom.

When Ruth closed the door Debbie broke out into a huge grin. She felt giddy like she hadn’t since she was a teenager. She patted her hair, checked to make sure that Randy was still deeply asleep. When she heard the toilet go and the sink turn on her heart rate picked up again. How was she actually nervous to see Ruth? It had only been a minute, but every second without her left room for doubts. She sat down awkwardly and waited with baited breath for only a few moments before Ruth returned.

Ruth looked just as flushed and nervous as Debbie felt. But her movements were sure and quick. She bridged the space between them and soon their lips were touching again.

Ruth surged against Debbie. She fervently pressed kisses against Debbie’s lips, hot and rushed. Ruth filled Debbie’s senses and a moan caught in her throat when Ruth’s tongue slid along Debbie’s lips. Ruth relentlessly pressed against Debbie, her body leveraged awkwardly to keep their closeness.

Overcome by Ruth’s need, Debbie pulled and shifted Ruth so that she straddled Debbie’s lap. She felt the heat between her legs begin to drip when Ruth’s chest pressed into her own. When Ruth’s hips bucked against Debbie she felt almost dizzy with wanting. 

She touched Ruth everywhere. Her hands ran up and down her sides, she gripped her, pulled her closer. Her hands fisted in Ruth’s shirt. She dipped her fingers into the band of her jeans.

Meanwhile Ruth continued to press herself against Debbie. Her hands had found space in Debbie’s hair again and she tugged in the most pleasing of ways. Her lips were unyielding, her breath sweet. Debbie heaved into her and Ruth met her and pushed back.

Debbie drew Ruth in and tipped herself back so that they fell easily into a laying position. Ruth slotted her legs between Debbie’s. The pressure made Debbie buck into her. Ruth groaned and started to direct her lips along the column of Debbie’s neck.

“Debbie…” Ruth whispered. Her voice was raw and it drove Debbie deeper into her desire just to hear Ruth say her name that way.

“I want you… I don’t think I can stop.” Ruth continued to kiss her neck as she spoke.

“Don’t stop.” Debbie pleaded. “Fucking _don’t_ stop.”

Debbie was almost wonton now in the movement of her hips. She sought whatever friction she could against Ruth and Ruth responded in kind. She dragged herself up and down the length of Debbie’s thighs.

“What about,” she panted “What about Randy?”

Debbie glanced toward the sleeping baby.

“He’s out cold. Won’t wake till morning. Please, Ruth.”

Ruth wasted no time. She slipped her hand down Debbie’s dress, her palms cupped the material of Debbie’s bra; she squeezed.

“Yes.” Debbie breathed; her body arched into Ruth. “God, Ruth, I want you to touch me. Please.”

Ruth moaned. She dipped her fingers beneath the wire of Debbie’s bra; she skimmed her fingers along the softness of Debbie’s breast. Debbie couldn’t bear to disconnect their mouths to let out her groan of pleasure; it drowned between her lips and Ruth’s tongue.

Desperate to feel her skin against Ruth, Debbie let go of her waist and used one hand to haul at her dress.

“Oh.” Breathed Ruth reverently when she realized what Debbie was doing.

She scooted to the side so that Debbie could work. When Debbie pulled the dress over her head she heard Ruth’s intake of breath. Before Debbie’s face was clear of the fabric she felt the warm tickle of Ruth’s lips on her abdomen. Hastily Debbie threw the dress to the floor so that she could witness with her eyes what the rest of her body felt.

Ruth slowly nuzzled and kissed at Debbie’s stomach, she slowly made her way up her chest. Debbie’s breath was ragged, the closer Ruth got to her breasts the more her core ached. But she wanted more, she wanted to touch Ruth too.

“Take off your shirt.” Debbie said.

It wasn’t a question and Ruth quickly slipped the shirt over her head. Debbie almost choked when she saw that under her thick shirt Ruth wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts bounced then hung as Ruth leaned back over Debbie.

Debbie reached up to feel her. One hand slid along her back pulling Ruth down to her and the other hand cupped Ruth’s breast. 

“Oh god.” Ruth moaned.

Her hands found Debbie’s breasts and the two women moved in tandem.

Soon it became too much for Debbie. She sat herself up on her elbows, all the while keeping her connection with Ruth’s lips. Ruth moved with her easily, she seemed to sense what Debbie was getting at. Her hands reluctantly left the bra she had been struggling with so that she could yank her own pants down.

Finally Debbie pulled away from Ruth’s lips, her mouth moved along her neck, down her sternum. Her hands worked with Ruth’s to speed up the process. Ruth shimmied her pants down and she kicked at them viciously until they fell to the floor. Debbie giggled into her skin.

The smile didn’t last long though as Debbie felt Ruth’s bare legs slide along her own.

“Fuck.” Debbie breathed.

Both of her hands went up to Ruth’s back. She wanted to bring her close; she wanted to feel every inch of her skin pressed to Ruth’s. This felt so good. How could she have gone this long without feeling this? Ridiculously, Debbie felt tears come to her eyes.

“Hey,” Ruth paused and wiped one traitorous tear from Debbie’s lashes. “Are you ok?”

Debbie nodded fiercely.

“Yes.” She whispered. Her hands came up to frame Ruth’s face. “I’m like, really good.” She breathed. Debbie traced her thumb over Ruth’s lips. “Are you?”

“Yes.” Ruth answered immediately. “Also, like, really good.”

“Good.” Debbie murmured.

She was already in motion, her hands exploring Ruth’s smooth expanse of skin. She felt Ruth’s breath hitch through the skin of her throat. Ruth began to grind her center against Debbie’s thigh. Debbie felt excitement rising in her.

Impossibly close as they were she wanted more. Debbie’s hand slid under the band of Ruth’s underwear. Debbie paused only for a moment before she reached down and slipped a finger between Ruth’s legs. It was instantly gratifying. Ruth tipped her head back, exposing her neck. She bared down so that Debbie’s finger moved into her entrance. Debbie’s face was flushed. Ruth felt so good. Debbie slipped another finger into Ruth and started to move in and out.

Though it was a completely different type of sex act than Debbie had ever experienced, she didn’t feel uncomfortable or unsure. Her body knew what to do to seek pleasure; she knew how to read Ruth’s reactions. So she did what felt good, natural even.

Debbie continued to move inside of Ruth as Ruth bit the back on her hand to keep from calling out. With her other hand, Debbie saw with a swoop of desire, Ruth was twisting her own nipple. Debbie leaned up as far as she could go without disrupting their connection and nudged Ruth’s hand away with her chin. She quickly replaced it with her mouth. Ruth sagged with pleasure, she put more of her weight onto Debbie and Debbie accepted it easily. She wanted to see Ruth come undone, wanted to be as close to her as possible when it happened.

Ruth’s mouth clamped down on Debbie’s neck. Debbie choked back a cry; the pain was not entirely unpleasant. Debbie’s hand was starting to cramp at this angle, so she put her wrestling skills to good use and flipped Ruth over. It wasn’t perfectly seamless, but Debbie managed to reposition them without withdrawing her fingers from Ruth.

From her new vantage point above Ruth, Debbie could take her in more fully. Ruth’s breasts bounced with each thrust of Debbie’s hand. Her face was twisted in pleasure, her hand still at her mouth to keep herself quiet. Debbie bent down, never ceasing the movement of her hand. Ruth was getting close, she could tell. Debbie pressed the full length of body down against Ruth’s. She wanted to feel everything when Ruth came.

When Debbie came down onto Ruth, she opened her eyes. Ruth’s pupils were blown wide with arousal. She threw her hand aside and tipped her head up so that Debbie could kiss her. Ruth’s kiss was sloppy, but somehow that was even more of a turn on. Her lips were swollen from her teeth and her tongue probed seemingly at random.

Debbie’s arousal was already rocking high, but when Ruth unexpectedly slipped her fingers into her she nearly came.

“Fuckkk.” Debbie groaned into their kiss.

Under her, Ruth seemed to take even more pleasure from touching Debbie at the same time. The two of them rocked together for a moment more until they found the right rhythm. Debbie felt her crescendo approaching, but she didn’t want to go without Ruth.

Debbie risked disrupting their position to bring her thumb to Ruth’s clit. The moment that Debbie started to rub, Ruth began to shake. The friction of their situation and the inconsistent thrusting of Ruth’s fingers was nearly stimulus enough for Debbie, but when Ruth’s orgasm moved through her, she had reached her tipping point. Ruth’s fingers became limp as she climaxed, but it didn’t matter, Debbie ground down onto them, chasing her own satisfaction. She came with a cry that she muffled with Ruth’s mouth.

They lay pressed together as their breathing came down. Then Ruth brought her arms around Debbie’s waist to hold her. Debbie wondered how long she could lie like this, how long Ruth could support her weight. She could hear Ruth’s heart beating in her chest; she could feel it too. When their sweat started to cool Debbie finally shifted.

She gave a cursory glance to her sleeping child before settling herself onto her side. Ruth followed suit. As they looked into each other’s eyes Debbie felt a heavy warmth drift over her. Nothing would ever be the same between them, she knew. She felt like she had unlocked some piece of herself she had been missing for years. Ruth would forever be tied to this moment of realization and awakening, and Debbie wasn’t afraid. Her body was sated and even though she wanted to keep her eyes open, they slowly fell closed into sleep.


End file.
